Ever After

Part 19 - Don't Make Me Choose

Trying your hardest to keep your hand steady, the look of betrayal on Steve's face is enough to fill your eyes. The guilt, the pain, the culmination of everything you had ever gone through returns to the surface. Despite all that, you keep your voice calm. "Either you help me save Bucky, or walk away Steve."

"I can't do either of those Belle," He doesn't raise his hands in surrender, or take a step back from the gun you have pointed at him; he simply stands there, watching you closely. "It's you that has to make the decision here." He quickly looks at the gun before meeting your eyes. "What's it going to be?"

"Don't do this Steve," You grit your teeth, feeling the nerves running through you as the gun starts to shake ever so slightly. "Don't make me choose between you and Bucky...I can't."

"It looks like you already have," He once again gestures to the gun. Feeling your grip loosen slightly with the guilt, you bring the gun down to your waist, but Steve doesn't make a move. "What's it going to be Belle?" He repeats the question; the snowstorm raging on around you both.

"Why don't you understand? Why won't you help me?" You yell, praying that the sound of the storm will cover your shouting. "This is Bucky we're talking about here Steve. Do you know what they're doing to him down there?"

"Of course I do," Steve yells back, still frozen in place, waiting for the perfect opportunity. "But we don't have the right..."

"I HAVE EVERY RIGHT!" You scream at him. "I loved him. He's my friend. YOUR friend! He is EVERYTHING to us. Why don't you get that? Why doesn't it burn you inside that he's in there right now being tortured and brainwashed."

"It does." Steve's voice is calm, but you can see him ball his fists; you were getting under his skin. Once again you raise the gun at him, determined to shoot him if he tried to stop you; even though that would break you, just as much as the thought of leaving Bucky to his pain would.

"THEN WHY WON'T YOU..."

"BECAUSE HE TOLD ME NOT TO!" Steve finally roars back at you. Dropping the gun in shock at his statement a shiver runs up your spine, and not from the icy wind blowing at you.

"You're lying," Voice barely a whisper, Steve finally takes a few steps closer to you. "He would want...he needs us to...you're lying Steve."

"I'm not Belle," He wraps his arms around you, pulling your head into his chest. "I swear on my life," He chokes through sobs that are running through him too. "It was my first thought when Bruce asked me to take the stones back. But Bucky," He chokes again. "Bucky said no."

You want to believe Steve, but you can't. You can't imagine that this would be Bucky's choice. Struggling to process this in your mind, you simply latch on tightly to Steve, letting the scream you had built up rage into his chest. "I can't leave him. Not knowing that it was my fault." You pull away from Steve, turning to look at the compound; now almost completely covered in snow. "I won't let him down. Not again."

"He knew you'd say that." Steve grips at your hand, not letting you get too far away from him. "That's why he didn't want you to come."

"What do you mean?"

"Look Belle, the storm is starting to lift. We're at serious risk of being caught. Let's go somewhere else and talk it out." He tries to pull you back to him, but for once struggles to overpower you. "It's time to go home Belle."

"No." You wipe the iced tears from your face, reaching into your coat pocket and pulling out another gun. "How can I go back and face him knowing that I didn't even try?"

Before he can reply, Steve is thrown to the ground; a flash of silver is all you can see against the grey backdrop as the snow starts to ease: the Winter Soldier had been unleashed. On pure instinct alone you raise your gun and fire, automatically the bullets smack off the metal arm now wrapped around Steve's throat. Throwing caution to the wind, you throw yourself at him, gripping your hands around his, prying the metal hand from Steve.

The Winter Soldier turns his full attention onto you, and as the pair of you come to blows, Steve gasps for air. "Bucky," you shout as he comes storming at you, throwing punch after punch. "Stop. This isn't you." You manage to get close enough to pull another gun and lock it under his chin. "Remember Bucket, please."

He tilts his head slightly, the blue eyes pouring into yours almost as if he recognises you; not before jamming a knife into your side. You instantly fall backwards, giving him ample opportunity to wrap his metal hand tightly around your throat. "Hail HYDRA." He whispers in Russian.

Between the blood rushing down your side and the lack of oxygen, you feel yourself start to black out. Suddenly your thrown to the ground, your red blood almost painting the white canvas of snow. Steve tackles Bucky hard, wrapping an arm around his neck and squeezing.

"I'm sorry Buck," he pants as he manages to keep the Winter Soldier down on his knees. "Belle, talk to me."

"I'm OK," You lie, pressing a hand firmly to your side as you cough, immense pain covering your body. You try to drag yourself back to Steve and Bucky, but the snow mixed in with the pain is too much. "Steve..." You sigh, almost blacking out again, falling face first.

"BELLE!" Steve roars, squeezing a little tighter on Bucky, enough simply to subdue him and get you out of here. When the Winter Soldier finally collapses, Steve runs to your side, pressing a hand on your wound and lifting you into his arms. "Stay with me Belle," He cries out, marching as fast as he can in the other direction.

"Bucket..." You whisper, tears streaming down your face. "Is he..."

"He'll survive Belle," Steve kisses your forehead as he places you down softly, programming in the coordinates for the next jump. "He's going to be ok."  You feel yourself still drifting in and out of consciousness, unsure of what's real and what's not. 

While Steve is working on moving you, the Winter Soldier starts to stir. Staggering slightly, he manages to make it to his feet before seeking out his targets once again. As you and Steve disappear from view, he takes a step back, looking around him questioning what had just happened. As he looks down at the ground, the blood stained snow meets his eye. Kneeling down he looks at it, one slow teardrop rolling down his cheek.

"Bluebell?"