Estelle

18 | Self Defense

"Your first mistake will be overconfidence." Blue explains to me. "Usually you want to do what they say unless it is something like getting into a car."

It has been three days since I last saw Adonis. I have been spending that time training with Blue and right now she is teaching me what to do if a gun is pointed at me. My body is sore but it only motivates me to keep going. It gives me a fire in my chest that I haven't felt since Adonis had kissed me.

"If you can get close, you should redirect the line of fire away from you. Try to grab their wrist as fast as possible while also lowering your head out of the way."

Blue demonstrates with me and she trips me, forcing me to the ground. I feel something touch my head and I know it is the fake gun she has been demonstrating with.

"Your turn."

We do the same thing but with me as the victim and Blue the attacker. As we train, no thoughts of Adonis are in my mind. I am focused on Blue and the gun, trying to catch every movement from her.

The first few times I fail but by the fourth try, I am able to get the hang of it.

After a few more moves, Blue and I decide to take a break and we walk up to the kitchen for some water. As we walk past Adonis's office, my eyes linger on the door for a few moments.

I don't know if he is in there or not. He could be in his office at work or he could be somewhere else. The property is guarded as it usually is by men who work for him but the house is empty except for Blue, some maids, and I. The maids are only here twice a week to clean and do general maintenance. Usually the mansion is empty on other days.

In the kitchen, I fill up two glasses of water. I am still not used to this very large kitchen. I have never lived in a house so large. The whole room feels colder with its size.

I hand the water to Blue and keep my eyes on the floor as silence spreads between us.

"Jane, I am not supposed to say this but I... I think it is important." I look up to meet Blue's concerned eyes. These last few days, Blue has been careful to not talk about Adonis. She has managed to make me laugh a few times and we have gone to a few coffee shops like we used to. She really is the best friend I never had before.

"What is it?" I ask, setting the water down despite not taking a sip.

"Adonis hasn't spoken much but Alec has noticed how odd he has been acting. He is working in his office without much light and he always stares at your empty desk. Alec says that Adonis used to be happier when you worked there. Before... everything changed."

I tighten my jaw as I listen to Blue. Blue has noticed that I am not eating much and haven't smiled in a few days. I don't care about how I have been doing but I just wish he would let me help him. If we cannot be close then I at least wish things could go back to normal.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I think you should speak to him again."

"I have tried, Blue. He has made up his mind."

"There has to be a way. I don't think training with me will convince him like you hope. I'm sorry that I have to say that."

I nod in understanding and look down at the counter where my hands rest, balled into fists. The water sits full and still between my fists.

Blue leaves a few minutes later but not before lecturing me on why I need to eat more. She wouldn't let it go until I promised her I would.

Just as I close the door, I notice one of the maids walk by the banister upstairs and into another room. I hate how they do everything for me. I feel rude, like I should be helping them. I have tried to help a few times but the house keeper always tells me that I don't have to.