Estelle

20 | Its Always Been You

"You should be in bed." His eyes bore into mine, a flicker of concern in their gray depths.

"My shoulder is fine." It's been a week since the shooting and I managed to convince the doctor to discharge me. Adonis was mad but I was quickly able to convince him to take me home. Right now, I am holding onto his wrist and pulling him towards the basement steps. I've been dying to learn from Adonis. I want him to teach me more self defense.

"You could hurt yourself." His eyes flash to my head and then to my shoulder. The flesh is still very much tender and the stitches are still there but it is healing much better than the doctor anticipated.

"I'll be careful. Just show me something." I can't keep laying around or staying still. I need to move, I need to do something. It is late in the day and I am too restless to go to bed in the next few hours.

"If you need to do something, I'll let you have your job back. Just not any physical training." He says, still slowly following me towards the stairs.

I pause and look up at him. "I'm the best secretary you have ever had. Of course you have to take me back. I also want to train a little."

I try to pull him into the training room when I feel him twist his wrist from my grip and grab my waist, pulling me to him. My breath catches in my throat at the sudden but gentle movement. My eyes widen as he leans his face closer to mine and places his palm against my cheek.

"There is a reason you are the best secretary I've ever had." He whispers to me, looking down at me with affection.

I struggle to think straight with him so close. I swallow hard. "I don't want to be useless. I'm not a damsel."

"You're not a damsel. You are stronger than you realize." He kisses the top of my head. "I will teach you and make sure you are more skilled than any of my men. Just not yet, Jane. I promise but let yourself heal."

"You promise?"

"If you are staying with me, I will make sure you can take care of yourself just as well as I can protect you, il mio cuore." [my heart]

I rest my head against his chest and sigh.

It has been another two weeks and I have finally convinced him that I am healed enough. The stitches got removed a few days ago. During that time, I have returned to work as his assistant. Security has been a bit tighter since it has become clear that I am a target.

His training style is silent, not very instructive like Blue's. He lets me find my own way around a defense or attack and only speaks a few words.

I put weight on my shoulder, gritting my teeth at the soreness as I try to use my feet to shove him off of me. He doesn't even budge and continues to hold me down.

"Go for the stomach, Jane. Not the arms or chest."

I cringe at the thought of hurting him but I swallow it down and kick him in the stomach. He makes a rough sound and stumbles off me. I let him get to his feet before swinging my leg and knocking him down. Taking the opportunity, I straddle him and hold the wooden blade against his throat.

I try to catch my breath and ignore the way my lose ponytail is falling out, letting stray strands stick to my sweaty skin.

My eyes catch his and I see slight amusement in his gray orbs. "You let me do that, didn't you?"

He gives me one of his rare smiles and chuckles. His bare chest vibrates under my fingers and my heart rate picks up. "I had to give you some wins."

I lean forward, bringing my face closer to his. "You are supposed to be going hard on me." I hold back the smile that begs to spread across my face.

He reaches up and his thumb runs along my bottom lip. My breath catches in my throat as I feel his rough thumb touch me.

A cocky smile graces his lips and without warning, he knocks the knife out of my hand and flips me onto my back. He uses his body to pin mine down, our chests pressing together. In the movement, I felt my hairband fly off and my hair is now spread across the floor under my head.

The smile is still there as he leans his lips close to my ear. "Don't let your opponent distract you."

I fight the smile but fail miserably. Adonis has been smiling and laughing more than I have ever seen before. He is still very quiet around other people but with me, he completely opens up. I can't help but feel proud and special. I'm able to see the side of Adonis no one else can.

He pulls his head back. "You said you..."

I don't let him finish before I yank his face to mine and kiss him passionately. He immediately gives in and presses against me, tangling his fingers in my hair. I wrap my legs around his waist.

He told me how long he has loved me. Three months into me working for him, he has felt things even if he didn't know what they were until he came back from France. He has been holding back because he is selfless, not selfish like he believes himself to be. He didn't want to drag me into this but I would rather face my fears than be without him.

He starts to trail his kisses down my jaw and along my neck. I let out a moan as I try to bring the words together. "Adonis... I love you."

I feel his lips curve into a smile against my skin. That is when he pushes into me, causing a knot to form in my stomach. I open my eyes and they meet him as he looks down at me. His eyelids are half closed, a look of complete surrender in his eyes as I run my hand along the side of his face. It is silent and no words are needed as we watch each other. The question clear to both of us and after a moment, the answer becomes just as clear.

I close my eyes and give into a kiss, blinding me in pure want and need as he somehow carries me to the first floor and to his room. We drop onto his dark blue sheets as the world around us disappears from our mind.

His brows furrow in pleasure as he focuses his entire soul on me, touching me with his rough hands and letting me feel the dips and curves of every muscle on his body. His dark hair is quickly messed up by my hands and I revel in how soft his curls are.

I feel fragile in his strong arms and it makes me want him even more. Give him every part of me possible.

"Jane," he whispers. The possessive, loving way he speaks my name with his accent makes me realize how I completely belong to him just as he belongs to me.

Our clothes are soon forgotten and I feel my soul shutter as his body presses to mine. This is something new, something enthralling, something I realize I need to live.

I need him.

"I love you, Jane. You're everything to me." He speaks delicately, making sure I understand every word in my messy, hot state.

His name is complete gibberish on my lips. The passion and unbridled love he shows me in his eyes and actions makes me feel more joy than I have ever felt.

The gray storm of his dark eyes sweeps me away. God, I love those dark, mysterious eyes. The moment he looked at me for the first time, I felt something deep stir in my chest. Now, with our bodies pressed together, that feeling in my chest has multiplied to a heart hammering amount.

His hands hold my waist as he positions himself, his eyes watching mine closely. Neither one of us want to take this moment for granted. I know it will hurt but it just makes me more eager to get this close with him. I desperately want to take this next step with him and give him every part of me. It already feels like I belong to him.

He is gentle and slow as he pushes in, the pain eventually giving way to pure pleasure and bliss. The feeling of him inside me ignites a fiery bloom in my chest as pedals giveaway to a deep red hellebore.

"così fottutamente stupendo." [So fucking gorgeous] he whsipers to me as he treasures me and moves inside me, forcing me to moan. At first he is gentle but as I nip at his neck and encourage him, he gets rougher. The fire in my stomach gives way and I feel true happiness.

He is the peace I need. The tranquility is in everything he does, good and bad. I am completely and perfectly his in every way.