Insanely Sane

1: 09

Back in the Remedial Goodness 101 classroom, Fairy Godmother said, "Children, excuse me. Um, as you know, uh, this Sunday is family day here at Auradon Prep. And because your parents can't be here due to, uh, distance, we've arranged for a special treat."

Their parents appeared on the screen. Maleficent was incredibly close and she said, "I don't see anything, nor do I hear."

"Kids!" Fairy Godmother called, waving the VKs over.

Maleficent continued to say, "Is it... Is it... Is..."

"Press enter," the Evil Queen and the Jefferson said.

"Can I please see a remote? Is this thing on? Ugh, it's broken. Ugh! I hate electronic equipment. Oh!"

The Evil Queen was the first to speak. "Evie, it's Mommy. Oh! Look how beautiful. Oh, you know what they say, the poison apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

"Don't you mean the weeds?" Maleficent asked sarcastically.

Cruella's eyes widened. "Ooh! Who's the old bat?"

Mal gave a tight smile. "This is Fairy Godmother."

"Still doing tricks with eggplants?" Maleficent taunted.

Fairy Godmother frowned. "I turned a pumpkin into a beautiful carriage."

"You really couldn't give Cinderella till one A.M.? I mean, really. What, the hamsters had to be back on their little wheels?"

"They were mice! They were not... they were mice. They were not..."

"Thank you so much," Mal said. "Thank you."

"They were mice."

Mal smiled tightly. "Hi, Mom."

Maleficent focused on her daughter. "Mal! I m-m-miss you."

"You children are never far from our thoughts," Jafar added.

Jefferson nodded. "I miss you, Kia."

Kiara smiled sadly. "I miss you too, Dad."

Edward took Kiara's hand and squeezed it softly.

"I got it," Mal replied.

Maleficent pouted. "How long must Mommy wait to see you?"

Mal glanced between her friends before saying, "Um, there's a big coronation coming up. I think sometime probably after... that."

"When?"

"Friday. 10 A.M."

"You sure I can't see you before that? I don't know what I'll do if I don't get my hands on that magic wan..." the Queen of Hearts jabbed Maleficent's shoulder, "...you... you little nugget that I love so much."

Mal nodded. "Yes, I completely understand, mother."

Chester smiled. "Make us proud."

Catherine gave a tight smile. "We will, Dad."

Cruella's eyes widened as she saw her son. "Carlos, is that a dog? Oh, yes, yes, baby, I do understand. It would make the perfect size for earmuffs."

"He's the perfect size for a pet," Carlos retorted.

"Oh!"

"This dog loves me, and I love him. And FYI, your dog is stuffed!"

"Oh!"

"So give it a rest!"

"Oh-ho! Burn!" Jafar said.

Cruella pouted. "Oh! Why don't you go sell a toaster, you two-bit salesman!"

"People who talk to stuffed animals shouldn't throw stones."

"Oh, well, people who sell toasters shouldn't use mixed metaphors. Enough!"

Jay turned the screen off and Fairy Godmother looked at the children sympathetically. "I'm so sorry."

Jay nodded. "Thanks for the special treat."

Fairy Godmother smiled. "Of course."

Evie glanced to her friends. "M? C? K? What do you think our parents are gonna do to us if we don't pull this off?"

Mal pursed her lips. "I think they will be quietly disappointed in us, but ultimately... proud of us for doing our best."

"Really?" Carlos asked hopefully.

Mal shook her head. "No, I think we are definitely goners. Kia's the only one who's safe."

"Yeah," Evie agreed.

Kiara glanced between her friends. "I'll do my best to make sure you guys are safe."

"Thanks, Kia."

They made their way to the boys' dorm and Mal pulled out a map and directed her friends what they were to do. "Okay, we all know what this looks like. So it'll be up on the dais under the beast's spell jar, and we'll be coming in from here. I will be in the very front. You all will be up in the balcony. Okay. Carlos?"

He nodded. "Okay, so I'll find our limo so we can break the barrier, and, uh, get back on the island with the wand."

"Perfect. Evie? Kia? Cat?"

"Yeah?" the girls replied.

"Evie, you and Cat will use this to take out the driver. Two sprays and he'll be out like a light. Kia, you'll watch out for trouble. You're good at look out."

Evie nodded. "Okay. M? You want to break Ben's love spell?"

Mal looked sad as she nodded. "Yeah. You know, for after. I don't... I've just been thinking, you know, when the villains finally do invade Auradon, and begin to loot and kick everyone out of their castles and imprison their leaders and destroy all that is good and beautiful, Ben still being in love with me just seems a little extra... cruel."

"We're all here for you," Catherine told her in a gentle tone.