Losing myself....M.Y.G

30.

As soon as yoongi left , everyone ran to his old room. "Everyone attention!" Jin said and everyone turned to him. "Check his room everywhere , even the bathroom , cupboards , under the bed EVERYWHERE! Got it?" Jin asked and everyone cheered "YES"

After 30 mins

"Got something?" Jin asked when he saw taehyung coming down too. Taehyung shook his head and sat mext to jin. "Only jimin is in his room , i m sure he will find something" hoseok said and namjoon sighed. "Lets wait a bit"

"G-guys" after 10 mins , jimin came down crying with a beautiful diary in his hand. "Are u okay? Are u hurt somewhere jimin?" Jin ran to him worriedly but jimin shook his head. "He was alone. He probably hates us! We were never good to him!" Jimin said keeping the diay on the table.

"Where'd you get that?" Jk asked shocked and jimin replied , "it was inside the cupboard's secret part. It was kept inside a shoe box." "Jungkook read it loud" taehyung said and jimin ran to his room. "JIMIN!" Hoseok ran behind him.

"I dont want to listen! I read it already!" Jimin yelled locking his door. "Read it jungkook" jin said again and jungkook started reading it loud so everyone can listen.

AFTER 45 MINUTES

"Here are the pics...and his blade , his reports and his suicide plan." Jungkook said keeping everything separately on the table. Jungkook just had a poker face on while reading the whole diary. Everybody knew everything about yoongi now.

Everyone except jungkook were either crying hard or just shedding tears. "Namjoon , find that child at any costs. We cant be like this!" Jin suddenly said but before namjoon can reply , jungkook yelled at the eldest. "CANT Y'ALL LET HIM LIVE PEACEFULLY! THIS IS ALL THAT WE HAVE DONE TO HIM! WHAT DO YOU WANT HIM TO DO NOW! SUICIDE?! HE SUFFERED ALONE AND YOU KNOW HOW MUCH! LET HIM LIVE ALONE PEACEFULLY!!"

"Jungkook calm down!" Hoseok said sniffing in between. "He is right babe dont worry he is okay. He is better now alone" namjoon said hugging jin tightly to calm him down. "I cant afford to lose him again" jin said with his voice muffled and jungkook snorted.

"You already did , just the day he wrote this diary , you already lost him" jungkook slammed the diary on the table and went to his room. He fell on his bed and snuggled the pillow. Jungkook's thoughts were running inside his mind.

He was right , he knew something was up with yoongi. Yoongi always wore black , thats all he realised. Jungkook got up and went to yoongi's closet. Everything was full sleeved and black. He didn't understand much from it , he wanted to find yoongi. He wanted hug yoongi tightly and tell him he is perfect just the way he is. He wanted to tell yoongi that he loves him.

Jungkook entered the living room where everybody was still sitting and crying. "Find him" "huh?" "I said find my yoongi hyung" jungkook repeated and everyone looked at him shocked. " you know we already tried" namjoon said rubbing his forehead.

"Find this taxi with this number" jungkook said and kept a picture of yoongi entering a cab. "What? Why?" Taehyung asked. "Yoongi hyung always traveled in this taxi , i have noticed a lot of times like even at 3 at night" jungkook explained.

"Why do u have this pic mister?" Jin asked and jk blushed a bit. "His side profile was cute" jk said rubbing his nape. "Namjoon find that taxi driver under 1 day" hoseok said and namjoon nodded.

"I am going to the police station right now , its only 6 pm , so it won't be that hard." Namjoon said wearing his coat and shoes. "I am coming too" jin ran to him to wear his coat. "Stay at home okay? I will be back in no time" namjoon said and jin shook his head.

Namjoon held jin's face gently and looked at him in his eyes. "All the members need your support. You are the strongest right? I will be back in a few minutes I promise" namjoon said and kissed jin's forehead. "Bye" jin said and namjoon waved back.

"That legit looked like they are going to be separated for years. Oh my god , cringe" taehyung said making a weird face and jin flicked his forehead. "Shut up alien" jin said and took the diary. His heart hurts when he read all the pages again. The fact that all the small mistakes they all did with him , broke yoongi's heart , haunted him down everytime. He will make sure not to do that again with anyone else.

"He suffered , alone , without telling anyone anything , smiled and said 'I'm okay' when we asked , would cry at night , would go to take walks at 4am coz people threw stones at him in the morning , wont sleep properly , overworked himself , danced till he felt dizzy , would listen to all the people blaming him and wont say anything , felt useless but was alone even with all of us , went on extreme diets,  to an extreme to eat just once in 10 days or 14 days , or just eat ice cubes that too not everyday , broken inside , mental health was destroyed but still smiled the widest in front of ARMYs , achieved his dream after a suicide attempt but still had to leave it , didnt talk to anybody about anything as not to stress everyone , would hear everyone slut-shaming him and would just looked down , would cut every night , had blades hidden everywhere , would cough blood and wipe it with a tissue instantly , would throw up after eating anything , lived his life for holly , wanted to hide from the world , the cruel reality which destroyed him , had to leave his love , never got a chance to be with him properly , would act all tough and cold but missed someone to cuddle with him , would felt excluded alone in his room but said nothing , never disturbed any of us for his matters , put his passion first and his health the last , would take the blame for everyone of us knowing very well he will get slapped , would never stand up for himself , fainted and went to hospital all alone coz nobody cared , fainted but told everyone 'I accidentally slept' , didn't want any care or love , just wanted someone to listen to him and support him and that too didn't get it. Yoongi was the strongest person I have ever meet. I dont want anyone of you to ever be like him. Talk to strangers if u dont comfortable with us. Don't do the mistakes he did." Jin lectured while crying and sniffing in between while everyone except namjoon were sitting in front of him.

Everyone listened everything and then realized how much he actually suffered. If they were in yoongi's place , they would have jumped off a roof or something , but yoongi endured all alone.