Losing myself....M.Y.G

6.

Yoongi ran to his studio after reaching the company. He bandaged his arm coz the cuts opened again , even deeper this time. Yes , that's why he screamed. He wore a full shirt and went to the studio.

Soon he checked and after dancing for 2 hours. His whole bandage was covered in blood. He sighed when he felt dizzy and didn't wanted to dance anymore.

"Am i done?" Yoongi asked wanting to go his dorm. "No! IF U CANT EVEN DANCE THIS MUCH WHAT WILL YOU DO IN CONCERTS?! STAY AND PRACTICE MORE! I AM LEAVING TOO JUST STAY AND PRACTICE!" he screamed.

Yoongi sighed and nodded. As soon as he was alone , he slid down the mirror and sat down rubbing his face harshly.

Why ain't I perfect?
Because you are useless.

Please leave not now!
I wont leave you alone yoongi

Who are you!?
I am you but atleast more useful

You are ugly
You are useless
You are not good
You are a burden
You need to die
Nobody wants you
Everything is perfect without you
Jump off a building
People hate you
Nobody cares about you
Nobody needs you
Die! Die! Die!

He was having a panic attack in the studio. He was alone and all that he could hear were these sentences on repeat.

"STOP!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!" He screamed but nothing stopped. He hugged his kness and covered his ears. His mind didn't wanted anything to stop.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!! STOP!! PLEASE!!" "AAAH!" "SO-SOMEBODY H-ELP ME PL-PLEASE!! STOP! I AM NOT!!" Yoongi screamed but no one heard him. The voices grew louder , he felt like they were coming out of wall on all four sides.

His breathing grew short and he felt like his brain would blow up. He needed his blade. He needed to cut right now. He doesn't need anything just his blade. He tried to stand but fell right back down.

His eyes were pooling with tears non stop while he tried his hardest not to cry. "My bl-blade" he finally found a blade at a corner. Yoongi picked it up , removed his bandage and started cutting to every sentence he was listening in his mind.

Soon his whole hand was covered in blood and his fingers were dripping blood drop by drop. He finally calmed down. Yoongi needed someone in such times. Otherwise he would cut heavily and experience dizziness later.

He had 6 brother-like friends , 100s of staff , but he was always alone in such situations. He was breathing normally till now. He looked at his arm and tried to move it. "AAAH!!" Yoongi screamed when he noticed how much pain he have to go through now.

But it was not even close to his mental pain. Yoongi bandaged his arm and decided to practice more.

AFTER 1 HOUR

Yoongi stopped dancing and changed his bandage before going to the dorm. He was feeling dizzy in the van and wanted to sleep but he kept his eyes open , deciding to work first before sleeping.

His bandage was bloody again. He sighed knowing he had to lie again.

"YOONGI WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARMS!" jin yelled at him making the younger flinch hard. "N-nothing hy-hyung i-i am g-going to m-my ro-room" yoongi said mentally cursing himself for stuttering. He didn't wait for any response and ran to his room.

"MIN YOONGI COME BACK HERE!" jin said and got no response. He sighed and decided to cook dinner.

Meanwhile yoongi inside his room.

He accidentally opened Twitter again and felt like his cuts were worth it. He had so many cuts that they would cross each other remove his skin's first layer completely.

Yoongi sighed loudly when he looked at his own arm after removing the bandage. It looked so bad like some zombie ripped off his skin. He gagged himself after thinking such things.

"I should have been in my senses" he facepalmed himself and went to work.

AFTER 3 HOURS

yoongi didnt knew when he fainted on his keyboard. He woke up staright in the morning at 7. He realised he had work pending and he needed to show it today.

He gasped and got ready to leave. "Did u complete the audio?" Rm suddenly asked. Yoongi visibly gulped and shook his head. "I accidentally slept" he whispered and namjoon banged the dining table hard.

"WHY DO YOU ALWAYS SLEEP?! YOU KNOW WE ALL HAVE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS BECAUSE OF OUR WORK! AND HERE YOU ARE SKIPPING WORK FOR SLEEPING!" RM yelled and yoongi kept his fork and knife down. He just sat down on the dining table and didn't even have one bite.

"i am going dont worry" yoongi mumbled. The last meal he had was the dinner of the day before yesterday. He didn't wanted to say he fainted , he said he overslept.

"Please eat first" kook said holding yoongi's hand. "I have work prince I will eat later" he said as softly as he can. Jk nodded and yoongi went to his room.