The loss of an avenger was devastating. The whole world mourned and I felt responsible.
When Steve was rediscovered under the ice hope and promise was also rediscovered. The world felt a sense of relief and security return.
No one blamed me because there was no reason to, but I blamed myself. My only job on the team was to heal, how can I be Panacea if I can't heal.
The world was told Steve was ambushed at a Hydra base which he had successfully taken down, he died a true hero living up to his name and everything he aspired to be.
It has been two weeks since Steve's funeral and Peter has been my rock through all of it. We only had close friends and family there and the ceremony was beautiful everyone said a few words yet I couldn't muster up the courage to speak instead I observed all of it in silence.
At the end everyone personally expressed their condolences which I appreciated but I was tired and worn out.
There was no one left in this world who was going to force me to eat breakfast, scold me for my clothing or tell me to be safe everywhere I went.
I felt I had stolen a piece of everyone yet there was nothing to show for that.
Tony and Steve always had a love-hate relationship. Both of their egos clashed yet they were always there for one another. It was like good cop bad cop and I loved it, some days Tony and I would plan extreme pranks just to annoy the super-soldier.
Natasha and Steve were very good friends, I always joked about them getting together and at times both of them played into it just to make me happy. She was devastated at the loss of such a close friend.
Clint and Steve weren't the best of pals yet Clint admired Steve for his resilience and morality, he admired how much of a father he played to me knowing I had no one I knew in this world.
Wanda and Steve had a strong relationship after all he was the one who recruited her and her twin brother to the path of righteousness and made her the strong woman she is today. At first, he was the only person there for her in times of need.
Pietro and Steve had a great relationship, both of them were such important people in my life so they connected on that they learned to live in harmony for the girl both of them cared so much about.
Sam and Steve were great friends, Sam was there for Steve whenever he needed him and vice versa. The two helped each other through whatever issues arose.
Bucky and Steve were best friends they were in it till the end of the line. He was arguably one of the most hurt over the loss. Steve helped him through a dark time in his life and helped him rejoin society so Bucky felt he owed him everything.
Peter and Steve, before mine and Peter's relationship they weren't the closest but after we got together that changed.
I often found them talking together, Steve was usually being very intimidating playing the role of the scary father as Peter played the role of the scared boyfriend but deep down Steve knew that Peter was the one for me.
After Pietro left my room the night of the party Steve came in and gave me a little talk on my worth and how not to settle. It was a talk a father would give his daughter and ended with us both in tears.
I felt so lost and alone despite constantly being surrounded by people that loved me. Peter constantly let me know how it wasn't my fault and there wasn't anything else I could've done but it just wasn't enough for me.
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