Rain spilled down from the sky in a constant drizzle, slowly but effectively soaking my jumper and wetting my hair making it feel heavy and annoying.
The cold air was nipping at my skin making it feel like someone was constantly pinching me.
I was slowly going numb.
I sat on the curb with a backpack full of necessities waiting for my bus. I left. It was a cowardly thing to do but I left.
I placed a letter under everyone's doors expressing my thanks and an explanation as to why I left as well as strictly prohibiting them from trying to look for me.
Majority of the letters were similar yet each was personalised to every member.
I took a few deep breaths before fumbling with my phone in my hands.
I called Peter's phone and he picked up straight away "hey Pete" I said and sniffled wiping my tears
"Hey what's wrong" he quickly asked, concern lacing his voice.
"Listen to me ok I'm really sorry" I started
"For what" he interrupted and I knew he could tell this wasn't going to end well.
"Just listen" I instructed
"I had to leave and I'm sorry I know it's unfair I know it's selfish but there's no use for me there anymore, if I couldn't save Steve what's to say I can save anyone else, please don't look for me I want to do this by myself, I made this decision myself after careful consideration and thought, just please move on" I started taking a short break to regain my shaky breath.
I readjusted the phone in my hands, my hands felt clammy which made me tighten my grip on the device.
"You were the best thing to happen to me and I truly mean that I adore you and I probably always will and I'm sorry again" I finished
"No please listen to me we can figure this out" he said and I could sense from his shaky voice that he was crying.
"Please Pete don't make this any harder ok, I love you" I said and waited
"I love you too" he said and I hung up.
It was all I wanted to hear.
I stared down at my lock screen at a picture, the picture of Peter and I that Wanda and Natasha had taken when I had first gotten shot, we were both sound asleep in each others arms and smiling.
I then unlocked my phone staring at my home screen it was a group picture of the whole team when we had went laser tag and got ice cream. We were all doing various silly poses and I was perched on top of Steve's shoulders licking my ice cream happily. I felt a tear drop onto my screen and locked my phone again.
I stood up and dropped my phone into a trash can nearby.
I got onto the bus taking a seat and staring out of the window.
I smiled wearily at a child waving at me from her seat further up "I'm going to visit my grandma" she chirped happily
"That's lovely" I said sounding as enthusiastic as I could.
"Sweetie come on read your book" her mother said as she gave me a sympathetic look taking in my tear stained face.
I stared at my own reflection in the glass, I wiped my tears something I had to learn to do myself from now on.
Peter deserved someone who wasn't as messed up as me, he deserved the love and care he effortlessly gave out and if I stayed there was no telling I could eventually reciprocate that.
Now here we are strangers again.
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