Take To The Crown

Let Her Go

Puffy walked, peaceful.
She had not seen Ant in days, only seeing glimpses and bits of him in the newspapers or in paintings, she was not worried. Niki was however. She would frequently see her gazing to paintings of him, and standing for a moment, only to sigh.

Niki had a fear.

Fear that he will not come back to her, fear that it is her fault.
It is.

"The maids will make breakfast again." She said, sitting on the edge of her bed, positioned to meet her gaze. Niki ran a hand through her hair as she fought sleep. "When will he be home?" She asked everyday.
"I don't know." A repetitive answer.

They would spend their afternoons over a cup of tea, slow words, Niki's eyes that grew darker with each day she resisted sleep.

"Puffy." Niki suddenly called, her flinging her head up to answer. "Have i told you how helpful you are?" She asked, her smile rare but appearing. Puffy nodded. She had, almost everyday.

Niki could feel everything so harshly, she felt she had let go of him too quickly, that he is not yet grown and still needs her guidance, that she needs to keep him. She wonders if his own mother would raise him like this, she could never know the answer. 

"Promise me something, Puffy." She said, holding her gloved pinkie out to her. "When i am gone, keep living."

It came sudden to Puffy's ears, she resisted an eyebrow raised, then joint their pinkies.
Niki wanted to say it.
I love you.

She was paralysed then, her tongue tied down to the back of her teeth. I love you, i love you, i love you. She only thought it.

As if she could hear her thoughts, Puffy smiled.

"Why did you say that?" She asked her. "My sister had made me promise it long ago, and I'm still here. So perhaps you'll live too, and learn to find me throughout your life."

She nodded.
_

Puffy had heard it so many times, the gentle strum of her guitar, the air heard against the strings, her voice singing. It was the afternoon, light gently fell over them as they sat in their garden.

"Puffy." She beckoned once more, leaning over her guitar. She had been calling her name all evening. She did not answer, she would know she heard her.
"When i am gone, burn this garden." Niki advised, a glimpse of a smile.

"Why do you keep saying that?"

Niki did not answer.

"You act as if you're dying." She said, plucking a flower.
"I may as well be."

Puffy frowned, cupping the flower in her hands. She extended her hands to her, offering it. Niki did not react.

Puffy collected it properly in her palms, sliding it in her golden hair. Niki flushed red.

"Why would the gods kill something that is beauty? This garden shall not burn, it is a reminder of you."

Niki grabbed her wrist, keeping her steady in her leaning position.
I love you, i love you, i love you.
She could not say it, she will die with it on her tongue.

"You're odd." She teased, freeing her wrist.

"I have one request, you will do it when i tell you to." Niki said, it sudden to the tone. She quirked her head up to her. "Go find out what Ant is up to, will you?"

Puffy nodded, simple enough.

"Would you like me to speak to him?" She asked, lowering herself beside her. "I'm not sure if im ready to hear his words, if he speaks, do not tell me."