r.e.m

Tonic & Phasic

Chanyeol's POV:

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I don't think there was a word for the emotion I felt.

Not even taking into consideration what Kai had just did to me, the look he gave me as I tugged on his belt was enough to send even more of this unknown feeling through me. I felt even a bit challenged with the surprised look he gave me as I spoke. Did he expect something else? As if I wouldn't do anything at all? Well, we had already gone this far and I knew how to touch a dick at least.

Though, honestly, I was pretty afraid. The whole day I felt I had been in the Twilight Zone and everyone was their exact opposites – including me. Not that I regretted anything I had done... or was doing... at least not yet. I still didn't know how I was managing any of this, quite frankly.

My mind was still completely numb and I had no clue where even the strength to sit up manifested from, but eventually I managed to get my hand in Kai's pants. He leaned up against me so quickly I was surprised there was that much space between us anyways. With everything finally free down there he let out an audible sigh of relief and it wasn't until then that I realized my breathing still hadn't calmed down much either.

I copied him and did what he did to me, teasing him with my thumb and a few fingers, stroking him only slightly, curious what his reaction would be. Pressing his lips together in a line, a strange yet adorable whine escaped him. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes, his mouth parting again only to continue its desperate panting.

“Does it feel good?”

I was honestly curious but he got to talk before, so I did too. His eyes opened slowly and I felt myself blush for some reason. Sometimes I dunno why I do the things I do.

Instead of giving me an answer, he brought his hand up to my cheek and pressed my face towards his, the sudden feeling of his lips on mine again bringing back that weird emotion I didn't have a name for. I didn't know how fun kissing was until tonight. I almost forgot what I was doing because of how distracting the concept was for me. Luckily as he kissed me, he moaned into my mouth so I turned up the speed a bit, causing him to send his other hand flying to my thigh, bracing himself.

Without realizing, I put my hand on top of his. Fingers intertwining like they had a mind of their own, I could tell he was going to finish very soon just by watching him. His grip tightened as he rocked back into my chest, the smell of his hair distracting me just long enough to be brought back by sensation of himself spilling all over my hand.

But instead, I was focused on his expression more than anything. The moan that had ripped from his throat still was fresh in my mind as his eyes rolled back just before they squeezed shut. The way he licked his lips, still gasping for air, pulled at my mind in a way I had never felt before. It was that moment as Kai – my best friend – became something else in my eyes. It wasn't much; just a start, but it was there. He looked so beautiful and flawless in that moment and I thought to myself maybe if he wore more of his emotions like he had done in that one second, my heart would have seen it sooner.

I wiped my hands on a pillow next to me and threw it into the depths of the guest room. Sorry Baekhyun. I'm sure your bed's seen worse. Kai fixed his pants by stripping them completely and kicking them off the bed, leaving us in our boxers... for an amount of time I lost track of, we sat against each other, just breathing. The water bed was very unforgiving of any position for too long and we soon began melting down into a pose that resembled toppled dominoes. I don't think either of us minded it though. His body heat was mesmerizing me. It was also putting me to sleep. My eyes opened as he spoke.

“If I fall asleep... will this... not be a thing anymore?”

I blinked at his question, trying to wrap my tired brain around it.