The bell rings making everyone rushing to the break. As if the break's gonna disappear if they don't push each other. They just seem so immature. My little group wait for me so we can go to the hecking break.
I open my backpack reaching for some food but the moment my mind retakes control i just let them there, leaving them and walking past the white door that i close behind me, there's not any presence anymore there. We begin to walk a little bit in complete silence as I see all the familiar and the unfamiliar faces doing the only thing i crave: eat. I am so so hungry. Why didn't I bring that food with me?
Stop thinking this way! You have to be pretty to be perfect. You have to be perfect!, adds my subconsions, putting much more pressure and stress to me than it should.
No stress, no stres Abi. Breath. In and out. You don't want a panic attack right now in front of everyone.
"Slowly, in and out. Breathe. Concentrate on breathing. It's okay we are here for you", says Leena rubbing my shoulder.
The two of them focusing on me now, waiting for me to feel better. They always check on me, trying to ask why i have this but i seriously don't have any idea. I just do. Sometimes i'm thankful for having them but most of the time it's not the case. I am sure if i had other friends they would care more than this, if i can make them love me! I can make them! I wear like them, try to immitate their way of speaking, gestures, laugh at their jokes lame or not. I am so alone right now that anything would help me.
And i don't consider the two things my friends to be honest, we don't hang out outside the school plus they are really boring. Do they hear themselves talking about the non sense subjects?
Like the other time, when Leena was telling us about her "problem" with her mom, as if she's not listening not her anymore. If only she knew that none of my both parents care about me or how i feel. For them, it's their problem, obsession with having a perfect image infront of people and work.
Is this a problem that a mom use all the time to sit and listen to her daughter talking and some times she didn't so this is sad? Sad? They don't know anything about sad those two ugly little naive nerds.
Being sad is more than crying or being mad. Being sad is a constant pain that you feel, a storm that is destroying every piece of your soul and eating you alive.
Sometimes there is nothing left of the fire that is supoosed to be inside of you, only a little bit of sparkles that will fade away too. They take a little bit more time because there is stupid "hope" that makes you think everything will work out the way you want to, the way you planned it to be.
In real life, being sad means wearing fake smile that hides tears and just being empty. Nothing less, nothing more.
Hiii!!
It was a really long time since i wrote so here's a new chapter.
I really enjoyed writing this one! Hope you'll like it.
Don't forget to vote ;}
YOU ARE READING
Noyade
Short Story"The me that everyone knows, was not built in one night. It took ages and ages to combine every piece of me. It is a result of cries, laughs, shame, betrayal, deception, shatters, lessons but not lies." I think...?
