Shit. It hurts, the fuck was i thinking? I stare at the blood and try to detangle the clothing from my open wound. I observe the open wound on my left arm, disgusted how i did it again. I don't-
-Abi come down to eat dinner is ready, my brother shouts pulling me out from my thoughts.
I take a bandage and cover my cut before slipping a hoodie. Live love winter for bad weather. As i make my way to the dining table, I take a deep breath praying that my body wouldn't betray me. Family dinner equals tension, tension and more tension. My parents are not on good terms, and it's getting kinda frustrating.
It makes things a little more difficult, especially for me, who is supposed to be the oldest, the example. They expect from me: perfection. Something that is far from reality. I'm the kind of girl who's nothing special, nothing at all.
I sit in my place which has been reserved for me ever since? A cold silence that had transformed into a usual one take place in this room.
I play with my food using my fork since my appetite is minimal, rather I try to transform it. It's not easy to see perfect bodies, flat stomachs, long thin legs every day. Then look at me in the mirror and compare myself to these "perfect" girls. I feel small next to them.
"Are you okay Abi ?" asks my mother while looking at me, trying to 'study' me. She really thinks i am that dumb to open up to her? "Yes Yes. Why?" I reply to her briefly with a fake smile, i don't have the energy to argue again. "You haven't eaten anything. You don't like it?"
Well here she came back, sure she just wants to know if like it or not. "I'm not hungry, can I leave the table?" i ask directing my attention to my dad. "If you want, but don't forget what you promised me."
I nod before leaving the table, and head to my room. I am tired of people. I prefer to be alone than to be accompanied, but at the same time I like to be surrounded by people who give me importance.
I want to be alone but not lonely.
YOU ARE READING
Noyade
Cerita Pendek"The me that everyone knows, was not built in one night. It took ages and ages to combine every piece of me. It is a result of cries, laughs, shame, betrayal, deception, shatters, lessons but not lies." I think...?
