Love, Lumiere

my lumiere

Lisa's at her favorite cafe and the only thing she can think about is the first letter she ever gave to Jennie.

She's with Taehyung – it's not a date, contrary to what her friends and everyone in the school believes.

She's here because no matter how many times she tells herself she's ready to face Jennie, she's really not.

She's here because underneath the skin of someone who thought they could rule the world is a coward who always has one foot in the door.

She's here because the what if's haunt her like crazy.

What if she weren't here with Taehyung right now?
What if she confessed to Jennie earlier?
What if she didn't go after her first love?
What if she did go after her first...

Who's Jennie to her?

Jennie is her friend, a confidant, her crush. Well, something more than a crush. Lisa was- is in love with Jennie.

But here's her problem: Lisa is a daydreamer.

She reads romance novels and corny movies like it's her oxygen.

Lisa wanted nothing more than to have the picture-perfect relationship, the one she's seen in every movie she's watched.

That's why she wrote letters. In hopes that maybe someone would be intrigued enough by Lumiere to come after her, because she wanted the person she liked to put in as much effort as she did to like her back.

And it happened, miraculously.

Jennie wrote her back.

And yet here she is, with her first love, not Jennie.

It's a classic trope that Lisa's dreamed about before. Something she's wanted for as long as she knew about first loves.

So why is it that as soon as Taehyung started talking, Lisa has wanting nothing more than for him to shut up?

"Lisa... what do you think?"

Lisa shakes herself out of her reverie, blinking at an expectant looking Taehyung.

"I... I'm sorry, what was it that you said?"

Taehyung rolls his eyes. "About love. If it's continuous or if it ever stops."

Lisa taps a finger against her chin thoughtfully. Not to be rude, but this is the most interesting thing Taehyung has said in the past hour and a half.

"I think platonic and familial love occur continuously... your friends and family are people that you'll have by your side for a good majority of your life, and whether or not you know it, it'll always be there. With romantic love, well, I think..."

Jennie appears before her after a blink of an eye, replacing where Taehyung is. Sharp eyes ever so observant and plump lips parted with a response at bay.

"Romantic love deceives you. Sometimes you may think it's real when really, you were in love with an idea. Sometimes you love someone because they're attractive, or you love someone because they were very friendly to you. Rarely do you fall in love with someone for all that they are and all that they could be. That kind of love makes you wonder if there's a word that surpasses 'love'. It can crash against you like a tsunami and sometimes it stagnates like a low tide. Romantic love is unpredictable, but I think that's the best part about it."

The next blink, she's gone. Yet the tide is as high as ever.

I'm not in love with Taehyung. I haven't been for the longest time.

Taehyung's smile is tight-lipped, a mixture of defeat and acceptance swirled into his expression.

"I figured."