I feel something in my chest wants to go out as nervousness and worry started running over at me. I've been knocking on Stell's house for minutes now and no one's responding.
"Stell!" I almost shouted. No response.
I'm about to call Mr. Santos as I remembered one thing that he gave me earlier before I leave. I fished it out in my pocket and sighed in relief.
"Oh, spare key ng bahay nila Stell. I got that from Paulo. In case di ka lang papasukin," he said as he threw it to me that I successfully caught.
"Isn't that trespassing?"
"It's not if you exactly look like someone related to the owner," he said, laughing.
I slowly put it in the keyhole and turned it, opening the door. I immediately scanned the place. Everything's fine, ayos naman lahat ng bagay, same nung iniwan ko. I then looked at Stell's door, opening it ever so slowly and carefully for me not to wake him up. I sighed as I saw him peacefully sleeping on his bed that looks so big just by himself.
He's really a deep sleeper.
I walked closer to watch him breathing like he's the most precious thing in the world. Yung ganito kapayapa na di mo gugustuhing magalit sa'yo.
I ran my fingers on his cheeks that's so soft like a huge marshmallow. I felt a sudden voltage as I touched him which I just shrugged off. He suddenly smiled that made me discard my hand immediately. He moved and adjusted his position until he's back is facing mine. I breathe out the air I didn't realize I held because of nervousness when I'm sure that he's still sleeping soundly.
I just shook my head as I fixed his comforter and closed his room again. I'll just prepare breakfast, I thought, completely disregarding the racing thing inside my chest.
---
It's almost nine o'clock and he still haven't opened his room. I wonder if he's still asleep? I already mopped the floor and prepared his breakfast. I haven't done some chores that much since he still had no tantrums since yesterday, which I'm thankful for.
I waited a few more minutes before I decided to just prepare him a breakfast in bed. I held the tray with just my left hand as I knock on his door carefully.
"Stell?" No response.
"Stell, gising ka na ba?" I placed my ear on his door to hear some signs. I just heard a ruffle of sheets.
"Stell, I have some breakfast here. You need to eat, okay?" Silence again. I sighed. "I'll open it, hm?"
I waited for a few more seconds before I twist the doorknob and open the door completely. His back is facing mine just like how I left him earlier. I smiled timidly pero agad nawala nang makinig ko siyang humikbi.
I walked closer only to see him crying while holding their photo of Paulo. He hugged it as he sobbed even more.
He must've felt my presence when he stopped crying and stared at me plainly. I panicked and looked at him. "I'm sorry, I should've just waited you outside."
He stared at me and wiped his tears. "It's okay, trabaho mo naman 'yun," his voice a little hoarse that made me smile nonetheless. He placed the frame on his bedside table again.
I stared at the photo. It's different from the broken one yesterday. This time, they're staring at each other's eyes with the Seoul Tower behind them. They look so happy.
"First anniversary," he said. I looked at him and he just smiled bitterly while looking at the photo. "Nag-away pa kami non," he chuckled. "Di ko kasi maiwan yung flower shop, pero itong mokong na to, nag-ipon nang di ko alam. Bigla na lang niya akong inaya para mag SoKor kaya he forced me to close the shop muna. Gusto ko rin naman since dream destination ko rin yon pero syempre, I also love my shop kaya di ko maiwan. Vacation din naman daw namin," he sighed. "Mabuti na lang nandon si Justin kaya siya na muna ang nag-asikaso that time," he chuckled and smiled bitterly at me again.
I just smiled back. I placed the mini table on his bed and adjusted it above his thighs.
"Sorry, napadaldal na," he shrugged as he slowly moved up and sat carefully, his back leaning against the headboard.
"It's alright, trabaho ko naman, di ba?" Our eyes met and I suddenly feel drowning into it. I immediately avoided his gaze, leading my eyes to his bare torso, making me panic even more. I just closed my eyes as I faced my back on him. I felt my cheeks burn.
Nakakahiya!
I heard him laugh. "Oh, bakit 'di ka makatingin nang diretso sa'kin?"
I immediately looked at him and that's the first time I saw him smile. I think my insides malfunctioned just because of that.
"What?" He asked again as he prepare himself to eat.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to," I said, still embarassed.
He smirked. "So may gay panic din pala ang isang robot?" I felt my ears burn this time. He laughed again.
Grabe naman ang mood swings nito. Parang kanina, naaawa ako sa kaniya kung gaano siya umiyak tapos kung inisin ako ngayon, wagas. Kainis!
"Whatever," I mumbled.
He stopped chewing his food and stared at me. "Wow," he smikred. "Pati pagka-Ate Chona mo naaply din ni Josh?"
"I guess?"
"Ayos talaga yon," he just continued eating. I sat in front of him and watched him eat, assissting him when needed when he suddenly asked, "Di ka ba kakain?"
"Ah, I already ate."
"And, what do you guys eat?" He said while munching his food. "Kumakain ba kayo ng pako or turnilyo—"
I cut him off as I place my hand with napkin on his mouth. "Please, don't talk while your mouth is full," I said coldly without knowing it. "And no, di turnilyo ang kinakain ko. I also eat human foods."
He bursted out laughing. "Grabe talaga si Josh, kopyang kopya ka nga niya. Yung totoo, ikaw ba si Paulo?" He asked as he held my face and turn it left to right making me feel something in my stomach. "Ayiee oh, kinikilig siya sa'kin," he teased again as he went back to eating.
JPN, ikalma mo. That's your patient.
"I'm not," I said emotionlessly.
"Okay. Sabi mo eh."
He almost finished his food when I noticed he's not eating the hotdogs I put in his table.
"Uhm, di mo ba gagalawin to?"
He stared at it before I see tears forming in his eyes again. I panicked this time.
"I'm sorry, di ka ba kumakain nan? I'll just eat it if you want," I'm about to pick his table up when he started crying already.
Grabe talaga ang mood swings nito.
I shifted from my seat and sat beside him, hugging him as he cried.
"Yun kasi... Favorite ni Pau yon," the sudden information got me, face palming myself in my mind for completely forgetting about that. "Wala ka namang kasalanan."
We've been in that position for a while; my body facing his side, his head on my chest, my hand stroking his hair gently making me smell his strawberry scented shampoo. I want to peel off and clean his table but I can't find the courage to do so.
"Stell, andito lang ako," I suddenly blurted out, making him cry harder.
"Yun na nga eh," he said in between sobs. He looked at me in the eyes and cupped my face. "You're here but you're not even my real Paulo," he said that made me something feel heavy in my chest again.
Why does it hurt this much?
