Just A Moment

Out of the Comfort Zone

Hope reached the revolving doors and flung herself through them. She could see Joe following her, so she broke into a run away from the building. A light spatter of rain had begun to fall; not uncommon in December. The drops splashed the street and reverberated up onto Hope's legs.

Unable to escape him, Hope was briskly turned around to face Joe as he grabbed her arm.

'Hope please, take a deep breath...' Joe tried to reassure her.

'No Joe.' Hope held up her hands, her breathing still ragged. She closed her eyes, unable to meet his gaze. 'I just... I just... can't do it. I'm sorry... but that's just how it is.'

'Come on, Hope.' Joe took Hope's hands with a comforting smile. 'We made magic with that song. Didn't you think so?'

'I...' Hope stuttered. 'We did, but...'

Joe rubbed the back of Hope's hands. 'You can do this, I know you can. Believe in yourself.'

'I can't... I can't do this. Be your partner. I'd have to leave my old life here in New York behind.' Hope stuttered out in frustration. 'That's... that's not who I am. Joe, please... try to understand.'

Joe looked confused. 'What do you mean? You said that that was what you wanted. Surely you can't be thinking of just leaving me here alone?' As Hope didn't respond, the realisation of the truth dawned on Joe's face. He looked away feeling rejected and hurt. 'So that's it then? Just lead me along and let me think that I've got a real shot in a recording studio with my own demo and the potential of a management deal to let me down when the easiest part came? I should have guessed it was all too good to be true.'

'Joe, I'm sorry.' Hope pleaded with Joe, praying that he would look her in the eyes so he could see her sincerity. 'I just can't do it. I thought I could. I promised you I would try but I... I never meant to hurt you. I just... You have to understand...'

'What?' Joe interrupted her. 'Understand that your "old life" which you hate means more to you than I ever could? A person who has believed in you and supported you since the moment they met you? Yes, obviously I come below everything that traps you and makes you doubt yourself and your potential.'

'That's not what I mean Joe.' Hope said, exasperated. 'It's all I've ever known. It's my life. Those people; they're my family.'

Through gritted teeth, Joe averted his head: 'I thought we were friends. Partners.'

'Joe, please.' As Joe turned his head towards her, Hope was aware that her eyes were full of tears. 'Don't make this harder than it already is.'

'Hope, I'm giving you a chance at a new life! All I'm asking you to do is consider before you waste it. Help me achieve my dream, and I'll never be able to repay you. You can live it with me. It would be amazing!' Joe knew his voice was raised now.

'I don't want to do this Joe.' Hope sighed, as the rain pelted her more brutally. 'This is only going to be an argument and it won't solve anything. You won't change my mind.'

'I can't just let you leave without putting up a fight.' Joe uttered in disbelief.

The light rain was gluing Hope's hair to her head and her dress was soaked. 'Fine, if we need to discuss it, let's discuss it. Let's go over to that bus shelter. There's no use us getting drenched.'

The small metal bus shelter was on the corner of the street. As soon as Joe and Hope reached cover, the heavens opened, and the rain began to splash down in buckets. The sudden change was quite comical, so the pair laughed, releasing some tension between them.

Joe watched Hope's profile as she laughed. Her bedraggled appearance from the rain notwithstanding, she was so beautiful. A gentle breeze blew that made her shiver, so Joe shrugged out of his jacket and wrapped it about her shoulders, as in her haste she had left her coat in the building, and Joe was gratified to receive a smile in return.

Her hand lay on the plastic bench beside her, and Joe laid his on top of it.

'Come back to the studio with me. Just give it one more go. That's all I'm asking.'

The pause was only slight as Hope released his hand, rose and sighed.

'No.'

Joe watched Hope as she appeared to study the rain. 'Why? Why are you refusing to even try? Don't you want this?'

Hope laughed lightly, but it was a sad sound. 'No Joe; I really want this. More than I ever thought that I could when I began on this crazy journey. I knew that when I sang with you for the first time. It gave me such a rush. So much that it physically hurts me to walk away from it all. To walk away from you.'

'Then why are you?' Joe asked.

Slowly Hope turned and met his gaze. Her gaze was unreadable and severe. 'Honestly, I'm just too scared to embark on this adventure with you. I've never gone so far out of my comfort zone, and I don't have the kind of courage to continue. I have to go back to what I know. I need the people I've grown up with; my aunt, my uncle, Mack, Bobby...'

'Don't even say that you're going back for Bobby, because I don't believe you. You're not blind or stupid.' Joe rose.

Hope laughed. 'Ok, no, I'll admit. I'm not going back for Bobby. But I am for all the others.'

'But why?' Hope turned away again at his question. Joe closed the gap so that he was at her back, resisting the urge to reach out to touch her. 'You owe them nothing Hope. Don't make a decision on your life for their benefit. Your only duty is to yourself.'

'That's not true. That's not a reality I've ever lived.' Hope shook her head. 'I have to go back. They are the only family I have. I can't lose them. I am not prepared to let them go over some dream that might not come true.'

'You're afraid of failing?' Joe asked in disbelief.

'I'm afraid of succeeding. I'm afraid of losing everything I've ever known.' Hope stopped, the lump lodged into her throat again. 'Just go back Joe. Take the finished songs. Make a career for yourself. I want you to be happy.'

'I don't want to go it solo.' Joe stated flatly.

'Then find yourself a new partner.' Hope looked up and met his eyes. 'I give you permission to use the songs and find yourself someone who can do this with you.'

'But I can't think what my life will be like without you.' Joe couldn't control the words falling out of his mouth, but he was desperate. He was coming to see that he would not survive Hope walking away from him. Not just as a musical partner, but as a friend. He couldn't deny the connection he felt towards her was strong. 'You've become such an important part of my life, I just... I...' his voice was breaking even as he tried to form the words.

Hope smiled sadly. 'I'm sorry. I just can't do it.'

Discarding Joe's jacket on the bench, Hope walked out of the bus shelter before Joe could reply, not turning back once. Tears streamed down her face as it felt like a piece of her heart had just been smashed in front of her. She had given up her chances and finally picked her path. She should've been happy, because she'd always wanted to know where she was heading, but instead she wanted to cry for days.