Her Name was Elise

3

Trigger Warning!!

„I'm not Mary, my name is Marisa. And you are not Elise, your name is Cate."

She nodded in silence.
As we went outside, Cate laid her arm around my waist. Just that touch felt so good.
Soon I lean in her embrace and she pulled me closer.
We just walked for 30 minutes, silent.
I thought about my past.
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It's been 8 months now without maman.
Without her cuddles, kisses and talks.
Dad tries his best to be a mum and a dad at the same time but no one can replace her.
In the last few months I drunk a lot alcohol.
Every morning a beer to wake up, another one for breakfast, before lunch a bottle wine, for lunch scotch, a little bit liquor in the coffee, for dinner 2 bottles of wine and in the evening a, lot of tequila, beer and vodka.
One day I woke up in the hospital. My uncle brought me there after he found me lifeless in my room.
I told him not to say anything to my dad but I had to get sober for it.
Without the alcohol I got a heavy depression.
And again I told , dad nothing about it.
Not about my depression neither about my try's to end my life.
Somehow I got out of it.
I've controlled my eating very much because that was the only thing I could control.
My body starts to get weaker and that made it better.
I never stopped that, control to eat.
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„Darling, are you okay?" Cate woke me up from daydreaming.
„Yeah, sure. Everything's alright." I said with a faked smile.
She looked worried but continued walking.
As I put my gaze away from Cate, I saw where we are.
Soon we entered the woods.
A place i don't wanna go ever again.
I felt my body shaking.
„We have to go back, Cate." i said in fear.
„Why?" Cate looked at me and saw the fear in my eyes.
She stopped walking abruptly and put her hands on my shoulders.
„Look me in the eye, baby girl. What's wrong?" her blue eyes looked soft at me.
„We have to go, it's getting late."
„Tell me what's going on in that little head of yours. Mary, look at me. Even if you don't want me to use this name, I will. Because when i look at you, i see this beautiful woman i met this night. I can't stop thinking about her. So you will be Mary, my Mary. And when we're with your dad you will be Marisa. Alright honey?"
I sighted.
„Elise, many things happened in my past that are still present today. I've experienced a lot, none of it was even good or pleasant. Then I met you, all I could ever wish for. I relive that night over and over again in my dreams. Every night. I know it's wrong but it feels so right. So when we are alone, without my dad, we can be the two from this night.
Elise and Mary."
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We continued the walk, not in the forest but at a lake.
It was almost night and Elise started freezing.
„Are you cold?" she asked me.
„No, but you are, aren't you?"
She let out a little laughter.
„Yes, I am. Is it so obvious?"
„Yes it is." I giggled.
She stopped.
The sun goes down and she didn't continue walking.
She stared at the water.
Then she turned to me.
„You know and I know too." she let out.
„What do we know Elise?" I asked.
„What we're doing is so wrong. But it feels so good, doesn't it?"
I slightly nodded.
She took my chin in her hands.
I've felt her breath on my skin.
Slowly she came closer to my face but stopped inches before her lips met mine.
I closed my eyes, closed the gap between us and gave her a little kiss on the lips.
The „little kiss" turned us two on and fast it get deeper and passionate.
After a few moments we broke the kiss and gasped for air.
„Wow."
„Wow."
„That was definitely something." she giggled.
I just nodded and stroke my hand through her hair.
She's the beautifulest woman I've ever seen.
And I can't believe I'm standing with her at the lake and slowly fall for her.
„I'm falling for you, Mary." Cate spokes out of nowhere.