Given Up Hope

No Hope Left

The darkness is my only friend now. I have no one anymore. Not one person decides to give me the light of day anymore. Not Yami, not Atemu, not Joey, not anyone! I can remember when I first noticed they started to distance themselves from me. I wanted to go to an amusement park, but they didn't want to. So I stayed home and found out later that they decided to go without me.

I was livid with them, but I forgave them. I can't hold a grudge very well. But I do keep my promises, and I promised to never forget that day. They would soon start leaving me out of conversations and progress to not speaking to me for days. Now, the only one who seldom talks to me is Yami, but that's because we live in the same house.

I love Yami, more than just a friend. He is my Yami and I thought that meant we were bound to each other. How could he just so easily leave me behind? What did I do to piss him off?

I look at myself in the mirror and start to think critically. They left because your voice is too annoying, they left because you look like a child, they left because you are worthless. You should just kill yourself and save them the trouble of dealing with you.

These thoughts and more circled around in my head, refusing to leave. They were taunting me to end it, enticing me to ease my suffering.

I walked over to the bathroom across the hall, but bumped into someone along the way. I fell onto the ground with an oof, but the other person stood quite steady.

"Jeez, watch it Yugi. You aren't the only one living here ya'know" a taller male said with a pissed off expression.

"I'm sorry Yami. I forgot to look" I said as I looked toward the floor.

"Whatever, I'm going to my room. Don't bother me" he said slamming his door shut.

I let the tears that had been welling up in my eyes fall. I dashed into the bathroom, and locked the door behind me. I couldn't believe he had done this to me. I blocked my side of the mind link and looked for something, anything to help me. The temptations of the voice in my head didn't seem all that bad, I had plenty of things in here of which I could end my life with.

(self harm/suicide warning). I no way do I recommend any of the following actions. Please if you feel this way, get help. There is help out there. Suicide hotlines are great and they are always there to listen to you)

Pills? No, then they'll ban them in fear of others using them for the same purpose, and others actually need them for medical reasons. I can't drown myself because I will chicken out, like so many other times before. There is nothing to tie a noose to, in order to hang myself.

I grabbed my razor and slid up my sleeve up to my elbow. I held the cold, thin, metal object up to my pale ivory skin. I pressed down hard as I slid the blade over my wrist. I hissed in pain, but then sighed as the relief set in. But I wasn't doing this for relief this time, and the deepness of that cut proved it. I moved my sleeve on the other arm, and slid the blade across that one as well. I slid down the wall, as my blood started to pool around me. I just watched in amazement at how much had already escaped my body.

I started to feel cold, and shivered a little. My vision started to blur but I was still aware that more and more blood was pouring out of my wrists. I had enough strength to move one up to eye level so I could examine it.

My pale wrist looked like a canvas with a beautiful red painted over it. The way the blood trails went down my hands and onto the floor took my breath away. A white light had appeared and I no longer had the strength to hold up my arm. I just closed my eyes and hummed to myself as my life slowly faded away.

Images of my 'friends' had started to play in my mind. One of me and Joey laughing when we beat Weevil at Duelist Kingdom, one of Tea, Tristan, and I when Joey was in the hospital. One of Yami, he and I were in our bathing suits at the beach. I always loved going to the beach. And then one of Seto smiling at me.

The white light engulfed me and I welcomed it with open arms. Nothing appeared, and I just waited for something to happen or show up. It felt like months before finally someone appeared.

My eyes opened and I saw Heba standing over me with tears in his eyes.

"Yugi! You idioit, you're awake!" he said as tears fell from his eyes.

Author's note: so here is the first chapter. I'm sorry if I didn't have enough detail or provoked anything. Cutting is never the answer, there are alternatives, and I recommend maybe a therapist or a trusted adult.