Celestial Growing pains.

Chapter 38: The what if game.

Dreams were never just dreams to Channery. They were nightmares, as her eyes opened she realized what she had endured was worse than a nightmare. It was her new reality. There was no waking up and breathing an easy breath knowing it was over. It would never be over. Her normal was gone. Shattered. She was gone. But remembering the power that flowed through her she realized she wasn't shattered. She was something new.. Realizations were the first conscious thought when the fog lifted.

"Channery?..."

A familiar voice spoke from feet away. She knew the voice. It was engraved on her heart. The white lights shone bright in the hospital suite. He drew closer his face peering over her own.

"We have to stop meeting this way." She said trying to lighten the heavy feeling in the atmosphere around them.

"Even a brush with death couldn't extinguish that sarcastic wit."

At her side where he always had been was  The General. His eyes were heavy and blood shot. His clothes wrinkled no doubt from sleeping on the small seate she had once slept on waiting on him to wake. They did have to stop meeting like this. Like nightmares that you remember through the years she remembered everything that happened but not how she ended up here.

"What happened?" Her head still felt a little groggy. He didn't need clarification to understand what she meant.

"I knew when you didn't come to visit that something had happened. Everyone thought you and the king just extended your stay at the falls. It wasn't until..."

His voice cracked.. as if reliving a nightmare of his own.

"It wasn't until the king reached the city that anyone knew something was a miss. There...there was so much blood.. No one could tell where it was all coming from. The king carried you all the way up the steps to the castle. He wouldn't allow anyone to touch you or remove you for treatment, he slashed a warriors face when the warrior tried to separate you from him. It took an 23 warriors to pry you from his arms. I thought... I thought I was going to loose you too."

After all these years he still blamed himself for her mother's death. Channery knew the what if game as if she had invented it.

"I almost lost you. But I didn't and you almost lost me but you didn't."

The stoic general chucked his voice still thick with emotion. Clearing his through he pushed a un shed tear away.

"He loves you, you know..."

Her heart stopped as if she was five and had got caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"Can you ever forgive me?" She asked feeling unshod tears of her own forming.

"For what?"

"For loving him back."

And there it was. It was the first time she had said it aloud. It was the first time she had allowed her self to even admit it to herself. But could he forgive her? Could she forgive herself? Vulcan had nearly killed General Alzez. It felt as if she were betraying her best friend.

"Forgive you for being loved? My dear there is nothing to forgive."

Suddenly the lights felt too bright, the covers in the hospital bed too itchy. An urge to leave hit her like a ten ton train. Her mind snapping back to the nightmares of the forest. Alarms started going off.

Where is he?

"Alzez what happened after Vulcan and I were separated?"

The General shifted weight from one leg to another. A nervous tick she had previously caught onto. Just like the last jump when she had insisted on taking the last leap in the cock pit.

"You need to worry about yourself right now. You're fever just broke, you are in no shape to be worrying about anything but getting better."

There was something he was avoiding...

"Tell me what happened to Vulcan."

The General sighed as he watched Channery fling back the covers and slide her legs over the side of the hospital bed. There was no stopping her when her mind was set.

"After you were rushed here it was said that the king went mad. I haven't seen him myself but Gruya said the king lost his mind with fever and grief. He attacks any one who goes into his quarters and he hasn't come out since you arrived back."

"How long have I been asleep?" Asked Channery afraid of the answer.

"Four days."

A bolt of lightening struck her heart.

"I have to see him."

A arm wrapped around her supporting her weight.

" I know."

In silence the pair walked the distance to the royal quarters. The hospital wing was deserted which Channery was thankful for. Right now the last thing she wanted was to be gawked at like an ugly duckling at a zoo. So many muscles hurt. While there was no more bleeding her wounds still felt raw. The shuffle to the familiar hall was a painful slow process. By the time they reached the door she was out of breath holding her aching side. While the General cast concerned glances her way he knew trying to discourage her from her mission would be as futile as trying to fill a bucket with a hole.

"It's best if I go in alone."

"What if he harms you?" He asked.

"He won't harm me." Her voice held more conviction than she really possessed.

Had he really gone mad? There was only one way to find out...