Blackbird

Chapter 4: A new Perspective

James POV:

It had been weeks now, and I couldn't get the run in out of my head. And it seemed that Sirius couldn't either. He tried to pretend like it didn't bother him, but when he thought people weren't looking, he'd become sullen, staring off at nothing with a frown on his face.

One night he'd even gotten drunk. "Jamessssss, do ya know who the worssstest brother is? You'da think it'd be Reggie or someone like Snivelusss, but I think it's me. I think 'quila think so too. Cause we all know 'rions beatin' 'er up."

It had taken a while for me to get him to bed, but his drunken speech had made more sense than I wanted it to. I knew the kind of home Sirius had come from, that's why I'd offered him another one. I thought that would at least solve part of the problem, and we could work on him not flinching every time I went up for a high five, and not freezing at the beginning of hugs.

But there were other kids at Grimmauld place. Kids I hadn't thought about before.

So maybe it was pure madness, but for once I was going in search of a girl that wasn't Lily Evans.

I found her, perched primly on a window seat with a book. Picture perfect, if it weren't for the hollowness of her cheeks and just the sense that something around her was off.

"Aquila!" She flinched so hard she nearly dropped her book, and I began mentally berating myself for shouting. "Sorry, I should've remembered not to shout. Sirius was the same way."

"Me and Sirius are nothing alike." The venom in her words made me mentally backtrack. I wanted to stand up for my best mate, but doing so might cause more harm than anything else.

"Right. So then um, what are you like?" Her eyes widened a bit, before a furrow formed between her eyes and she bit her lip in thought.

""Prim and proper like a lady. Never too loud, never stand out. Speak when told, listen when not. Elegance and perfection in everything, and a Slytherin to the core."" Her nose went up, her gaze slightly down and spoke in a slightly shriller tone that Sirius always took on when imitating his mother.

"Great. But what is Aquila like?"

Her shoulders rose nearly to her ears, and she seemed to shrink back a bit before straightening out again. "Why does it matter to you?"

I could feel my heart break a little bit when I realized she didn't have an answer. Even Sirius knew a bit about who he was. That he was the rebel, full of confidence, and a blatant flirt. He liked muggle music and leather jackets, horrible puns and dumb pranks.

But Aquila? Nothing. Sirius described her as tiny and witty. Sarcastic to a fault. But years passed and he stopped talking about her unless he was drunk. Crying about the little sister stuck deep in Walburga's clutches.

"Then I guess we have to find out. C'mon." Grabbing her hand, I didn't give her time to protest before running to the kitchens. It was typically a Marauder only place, but she looked like she could use the extra food.

"What on earth are we doing here Potter?" It was weird. She looked a lot like Sirius. A bit younger, with longer hair, and a more feminine face shape. Possibly fuller lips too, but we always said Sirius could pass as a girl if he wanted.

"Finding your favorite food."

"I'm not hungry."

"Don't care. You are whip thin, and I will hand feed you if I have to." Normally this is when Remus would respond with a snarky "Yes Mum." but she just looked confused.

"Why do you care?"

I knew the question was coming sooner or later, but I still wasn't ready for it. "...Sirius is my best mate. He wasn't ever happy when it came to your parents and what happened at home. He'd come over with bruises along the side of his face and burn all the letters your parents sent him. It's the only time he's so...grim. No kid deserves to be left there."

Coming back to earth, I realized she wasn't saying anything. It made me nervous, and I started fidgeting, running my hands through my already wild hair.

"I hate you, you know." If the words weren't scary enough, the matter of fact tone made everything worse. "You're the reason Sirius isn't around anymore. Sure I didn't have chances to play with him like regular siblings, but he's my older brother and you took him away." She wasn't really looking at me anymore, just glaring at unseen things. "He left. Left without a second thought, a glance over his shoulder, an "I'll come back for you," or even a "goodbye". All because some messy haired blood traitor offered him a better family than we could ever be."

Her tone got more heated, and a pink color rose to her pale skin, "I hate you. I hate you because he's happier with you than he ever was at home. That when he wrote it was packed full of adventures and friends, and that even when he was at the house the only time he smiled was when he was thinking about you guys. I hate you."

"I'm not sorry." She refused to look at me as I talked to her, the house elves lingering a bit away. I waved them off before finishing. "I am, however, sorry that I wasn't there to do all that for you."

She just stared at me for a long while, but I took it as a win, since she was actually looking at me this time. Finally she opened her mouth. "I still hate you."

I couldn't resist winking back at her with a cocky grin. "Sure you do."