Blackbird

Chapter 12: Two Brothers, The Same kind of Pain

I was right.

And normally those three words would make me happy. Except...

"On the bright side, Minette is too busy flirting with Lupin to tease you." Veronica was trying to make me feel better, but I really just wanted to disappear.

It didn't help that James sat right across from me, awkwardly trying not to third wheel or make eye contact with me.

I may or may not be trying to burn a hole through his head with my eyes.

The minute he and Lupin came over the entire hall erupted into whispers. James and Sirius very much had not made up yet, and everyone could tell. Remus, as promised, came to give Minette some sort of bubbly Muggle drink, and quickly became more...occupied.

So James was stuck here, and I could literally hear half the rumors already flying.

When the students all hushed, I knew I wasn't going to like whatever was about to happen.

"Aquila, can I talk to you?" Looking past James, I could see Sirius' eyes flicking back and forth between me and our brother behind me.

The entire hall had gone quiet so everyone could hear. As much as I wanted to sass him, I knew I couldn't risk it. I made eye contact, first with Sirius, desperately trying to tell him... something. I couldn't tell if I wanted him to follow us or stay put, but I was nervous. Then I looked at James and Veronica.

"Don't wait up. I'm pretty much done eating anyway. Veronica, I'll see you in the common room."

I prayed to Merlin that James would get the message and stay put. He would only make everything worse.

As soon as we were out of the Great Hall I turned to Regulus. "I wasn't aware we were talking."

A shadow of a smile played at the end of his lips. "I did ask."

"That doesn't mean I had a choice."

Of all people, that's something Regulus understands. He sighed, "I know. I just needed to talk to you."

I held back a scoff. "The last year not enough time for you?"

"I couldn't 'quila. You know that." I couldn't hold back my anger that time.

"I know quite a few things Reg. I know that ever since Sirius became a Gryffindor you were the favorite. I know that to our parents, I'm a mistake. Expendable. I know that I've been getting beat for the past year and a half, and I know that you've done nothing about it." He picked at his sleeve, frustrated.

"And what can I do Aquila? Huh? I can't stop them. I can't even save myself or pick my own friends."

"You could've been there." I was on the brink of tears for the second time today, and by Merlin I was mad. I was mad, and I was hurting, and it felt like neither of my brothers, the only people I'd ever really loved, cared.

His face immediately dropped. At least he managed to look sorry instead of calling me selfish. "I didn't think it'd...I'm sorry."

Tears were falling, and I was laughing, but it wasn't funny. Not at all. "Nobody thinks. Neither of my brothers ever think about me. Always alone."

He approached like he was going to hug me, and I moved to shove him away. Someone else got there first.

Sirius was still taller than the two of us, although Regulus had definitely gained on him since he'd left.

Reggie's face went from concerned to stone cold in two seconds flat. "The prodigal brother returns."

"Like you were any better."

"I stayed."

"That's funny, because I'm pretty sure she was basically alone. Was I wrong?"

"He didn't call me a selfish brat." I'd stopped crying thank goodness, and glowered at Sirius as he turned around.

"He did what now?" Regulus looked ticked, hand twitching toward his robes.

Sirius looked like he'd been slapped. "I didn't mean it, I-I tried to apologize."

"Did you? It's been 3 days. I haven't even been avoiding you, and yet. You haven't even approached me during meals, or after classes when you know I'm not with Veronica." I fold my arms across my chest, "Doesn't seem like trying to me."

I watched him scramble for an excuse, and come up with none. I turned back to Regulus. "What did you need to tell me? I'm sure you aren't here to catch up."

I was still bitter about his thoughtlessness. Jinx me.

"Be careful with Potter. They'll hear about it soon if you're not."

I could practically feel the blood drain from my face. None of us needed clarification on who they were. I managed a nod.

"Your friends. They won't do anything?"

"No. You picked yourself a powerful group of girls. Felix has made it clear we aren't to interfere and Shafiq has everyone who won't listen to him under her thumb." Regulus looked edgy when mentioning Willow, as if he didn't trust her. Truthfully though, he didn't trust anyone.

"Then I'll be safe. At least until the holidays. It's likely no matter what I do they will hear about it."

"Don't go home for the holidays then." Sirius hadn't sounded as sure about something in a long time. "Don't go home. Ever. I'll talk to the Potters, I'm sure you can come with us."

I moved to refuse. No matter how friendly I'd been with James I couldn't just invade his house. I couldn't leave Regulus behind.

"Do it." I turned to Regulus, surprised.

"What about you?" I didn't want to leave him behind, alone. I might not have been much of a presence back home, but if I could get out, I wanted him to come too.

His crooked smile did nothing to change his sad eyes. "I'll write you, when I can. Don't write back."

"Reg." No. Please no.

He looked behind me to Sirius. "Take care of her. We both know we've done a shoddy job, now's your chance to prove you can do better."

When he turned to me it felt like my heart was breaking, I could see his breaking too. "I'm sorry."

It felt like goodbye. It was, in a way. I pulled up a smile though. "That's a crap apology. You got to make it up to me Reg."

His crooked smile reappeared. "Yeah? How?"

Tears threatened to fall again, but I smiled through them. "When you come back, we'll discuss it." When. It had to be when. Not if.

He understood what I meant. "Sure. We'll play Exploding Snap?"

"No we won't, you always cheat." He started walking backwards, towards the common room.

"It's only cheating if you get caught."

"Snake."

"So are you."

And he was gone.

And I broke down.

~•~•~•~•~•~

I try to avoid making authors notes, but I'm bored so you must suffer.

Idk if you've ever read a story and then been like, "Where's the rest? Oh yeah...I have to write it." But that's basically been my mentality with this whole thing. It has great potential, but only if I don't mess it up.

I'm also an insecure little teenager so if you all could comment on things you find funny and vote on your favorite chapters that'd all be very nice.
Thank you!