To Heal or to Kill a Sanegiyuu Story

Chapter 20

(This is the final chapter, I hope you enjoyed this! :D )

(curse warning)

Giyuu’s POV
We don't have many things most people do but it's okay. No TV, no decorative things such as pictures or posters. It's all fine though, I have him with me and that's all I care about. Ever since I have met him, I have become more sensitive and loving.
Some reason I just can't help it. I'm still cold to everyone else. Only Sanemi has made his way into my heart. After I finished eating I went and took a shower. The water was cold at first but slowly warmed up. I got cleaned and thought. Each drop that hit me, made me think of everything that has happened.
The crazy way of life and how if things went differently, I'd be dead. It reminds me of Sabito and how he would be happy for me. He was the only one who knew I am gay. He was amazing. I miss him a lot, and I hate that I couldn't protect him that day. I started crying and my tears mixed with the water. I felt as if it was all my fault. If I wasn't so weak... The memories of that day haunt me. His bloody body in my hands, the cries of the people. I feel responsible and I can't let go. He was so precious to me and he died because of me.
Mr. Urokodaki's face when he found out was so depressing. I almost felt too sad to ever face him again. Sabito... I am living on for you. Just like how you wanted me too. I even have someone who cares for me. You don't have to worry from up above. I wish you were here though. So much, all the pain and guilt is so heavy on my mere shoulders.
My throat was getting dry and sore but I couldn’t stop. I just stood there sobbing as the water kept hitting me. The shower was loud so it drowned out the noises of my sobs. After a bit I calmed down and stopped the running water. Then I got out and dried off.
This time I remembered to bring the clothes with me. I got dressed for the night and got ready for bed.
I laid on the bed and tried to think of anything other than those bad thoughts. I feel lonely. Sanemi is here, in the living room. I can just go right up to him and hang out. It's that easy, so why can't I get up? It was like my body was too heavy to move anymore.
I ran my fingers through my wet hair and tried to calm myself down. Nothing is actually wrong, I'm just being sad. In the past when I got in one of these depressive episodes, my father would scold me. He would treat me as a low life and yell on and on. He didn’t care, he never cared. I know that even in the afterlife he still looks down at my existence. I looked up at the ceiling and tried counting to ten. My mind kept wandering. It's so messy, I can't clear my head. It's like it never shuts off.

Sanemi’s POV
He went upstairs and took a shower and didn't come back down. What the fuck. Is he going to bed already!? It's not that late it's …. I looked at my phone, it was almost ten. We had a late dinner. Shit. I rolled my eyes at my little stupidity and went to the bathroom.
Then I got ready for the night and went into the bedroom. Giyuu was lying down. He looked tired and sad. I quickly noticed his eyes were red and puffy. He had been crying. I had to get ready for bed completely though. I just took off my clothes except for my boxers. Then I went straight over to the bed and he looked at me. He didn't sit up or move, just laid there like an empty soul.

"What happened..?"

I couldn't stay mad at him, he seemed miserable. He blinked his eyelids a few times and his lips started quivering. Then he started silently crying. My first instinct was to hold him so I did. It's what I did with my siblings whenever they were sad. I walked to the other side of the bed and got on. Then scooted over to him and put him in my arms. He seemed so fragile.
He looked up at me and I wiped his tears. We sat like that for about twenty minutes but it felt like seconds. Our heartbeats intertwined, calming him down.
I eventually let go of him and he was calmed down completely. I didn't need to ask why he was upset.
It really is none of my fucking business. Things have been very crazy so I know emotions can go wild. I went to the kitchen and got him some water. I came back and handed it to him. He was sitting up now and took the glass. He sipped on it and quietly thanked me.
I just nodded and sat down next to him on the bed. His face seemed a bit red but it's probably from the crying. Well I'm not entirely sure because his eyes aren't anymore so why would his face be? I don't really care too much though so I let it go.
We talked about the future and how things are going to be better. Then the subject changed to relationships.

"What if I get a boyfriend?"

He then realized what he said and covered his mouth. I rolled my eyes and responded.

"So fucking what. What if I get a boyfriend? Gonna not let them come over?"

He instantly relaxed and I understood. He was afraid because he outed himself. I outed myself too so he didn't have to worry about it. He also seemed a bit off though. I got closer and stared at him. What the fucking is he thinking? Why is he so god damn quiet!?

"What if they didn't need to come over and already lived here..? What if I was your boyfriend..?"

I smirked. He was looking down and trying not to look nervous. This cute bitch. I pushed him down to the bed and kissed him. It was long and passionate. The next kiss was a bit faster and more sexy. The kisses continued for a while.
What I've been questioning is to heal or to kill. I know for sure that the answer is neither of those lame fucking choices. The answer is to love. Love this man for the rest of my life.