Monopoly | Norenmin

explaining

"This is not fair, why do I keep doing this?" Renjun groaned, shoving his controller into Jeno's lap, grumbling about his loss. He really questioned just how whipped he was for this guy for him to even try and play games like this.
Jeno chuckled, "maybe you should get animal crossing, go visit each other's island without competition."
Renjun sighed, agreeing to probably do that. He'd been meaning to do so anyway, so it was an easy thing to convince him about. Could be a nice sense of peace in his life. Though the memories of Donghyuck yelling at his console about iron did exist so he didn't really know.

Jeno turned off the console as Renjun leaned forward on the coffee table, resting his chin on the wood. The younger boy turned his back to the table, leaning on it as he looked at Renjun.
"I wanna ask you something," he asked quietly.
Renjun turned his head toward him, nodding up at him to let him speak.
"Why did you guys do that?" Jeno tilted his head at him, the question making Renjun's breath hitch. "I got Jaemin's side, but I want yours now."
Renjun knew he would have to do this soon, and was planning to talk to him about it but Jeno seemed to have beat him to it. Now it he just hoped that Jeno wouldn't hate him.

Renjun took a deep breath, Jeno shuffling a bit closer to him. "I...hated Jaemin cause I liked you. You know that, obviously." Jeno chuckled, nodding a little and resting his head in his hand on the table. Renjun averted his eyes from Jeno as best he could as he explained. "Jaemin, one day, kinda confronted me about it. But instead of, like, beating me up on the spot, he offered to help? I guess? He said that he'd distance himself from you and that I'd fill in the gaps there so that you'd like me instead. The more you'd spend with me the more you'd fall for me sort of thing. And I agreed." He shut his eyes, not wanting to see Jeno, even in his peripheral. "I tried to replace Jaemin, but that obviously didn't work. And the longer it happened and after being guilted by- well rightfully guilted by Donghyuck and Chenle it got to me so I tried to stop it but then Jaemin kept saying that it was working and that we should just keep going and it looked like it was working but I didn't like that it was working and then you looked so fucking upset about this and I wanted to just fucking throw myself in front of a bus but then Jaemin was so nice and I don't hate him anymore and I'm okay with you guys being together and I'm so glad you took him back and I'm so. Fucking. Sorry." Renjun gasped a little, rushing out everything in his mind as best he could. He swallowed down the icky feeling of wanting to cry, determined not to lose any more tears over it. "You guys are so good for one another, and I tried to insert myself into it. I'm so sorry, Jeno."

There was this misconception, it seemed, about confessing to the person you like. People always said that you'd feel better afterwards, that it would feel like a weight lifting off your chest. But all Renjun felt was even more misery. Maybe it was true for people who hadn't done such shitty things to the person they liked cause all Renjun wanted to do now was to buy a coffin and lay down six feet under buried alive. He hated what he had done, and the more often it was brought up the worse it felt. It didn't even desensitise him. All that he was okay about, somewhat, was that Jeno knew, it didn't feel like the weight had lifted to the skies, disappearing forever, but at least it was out there. Renjun liked Jeno. He may even be in love with him at this point. And now Jeno sort of knew. And Jeno also knew about everything horrible he had ever done in his life.

He finally opened his eyes, looking over at Jeno who was nodding, taking in everything he heard. "Jaemin convinced you to keep going?"
Renjun nodded a bit before waving his arm a bit, "he wanted you to be happy, I promise that's why he did it. He wanted us both to be happy and if he was the reason that I was unhappy he wanted to take himself out of the equation so that it would be okay."
"I know," Jeno nodded, smiling a little before turning his head toward him. "Do you know the other reason?"
Renjun blinked at him. He didn't want to say anything that Jaemin hadn't said, he didn't want to out him to his own boyfriend. That was something that Jaemin would have to tell if it was ever needed.
Jeno laughed a little at Renjun's silence, taking it as his answer. He sighed a little, "You know he likes you too, don't you?"
Renjun's eyes widened. Maybe that was something that Jaemin already did tell him. Jeno just chuckled a bit, confirming that fact to him which only spun Renjun into more shock. It also spun him into more guilt. How could someone seem so calm after finding out that their partner liked someone else as well?

"I'm sorry," Renjun spoke in a hushed voice.
Jeno shook his head with a smile, leaning back on the table and stretching his back. "Don't be." He glanced over at Renjun, gazing at him for a moment before shrugging, "It makes sense anyway."
Renjun turned his head abruptly toward Jeno, the younger boy simply laughing in response. He shook his head, inhaling a little, "You don't have to worry though, I don't like you like that anymore." As long as Jeno thought that he didn't like him anymore then it would be okay. Maybe it would even help him get over him after so long.

Instead, Jeno snorted. "Bullshit."
"I'm serious," Renjun retaliated bluntly, trying not to be too defensive and give himself away.
He watched Jeno roll his eyes, the taller boy now shuffling a little bit closer to him so that their legs were touching, and wrapping his arm around his waist. Jeno gently leaned closer toward him, their noses now touching as he tilted his head. "Are you sure?"
Renjun hesitated for a moment as he saw Jeno's eyes flicker down to his lips for a brief moment before holding quite intense eye contact.
He immediately panicked, whipping his head straight forward toward the tv screen. "...yup." "Oh hell no."  While yes, it was one thing that Jeno was doing this and he probably should figure out why, he was way too busy try not to get too flustered all over again. Cause, as mentioned before, Jeno was really good looking, scarily good looking. And now he was taking up all of Renjun's personal space, possibly flirting with him? Oh absolutely not, he just did not have the strength to push Jeno away and if he pulled away he'd go into the wall. Plus...he kinda just wanted to see what would happen.

Jeno gently nuzzled into Renjun's cheek, tightening his hold around his waist. He inched his fingers under his shirt, tracing them around to the front of his torso. Renjun could only close his eyes, melting into the touch of Lee Jeno, his mind in a state of malfunctioning bliss, terrified of moving with Jeno so close. Jeno gently kissed his jaw, his hand running up Renjun's stomach as his lips seemed to make their way down.

Luckily before he could get way too lost in their little moment, Renjun's phone rang.

Thank the mother fucking stars that Donghyuck was talking to him again.

Renjun snapped out his daze with Jeno, immediately diving for his phone across the table. He grinned awkwardly at Jeno, who seemed a little irritated, but that was far from his problem right now.
"Yo, what's up?" Renjun answered casually, silently praying in every language that he knew to keep Donghyuck safe from any harm. His life saver.
"You want meat?" Donghyuck asked cheerfully.
"Yes," Renjun answered immediately, not even wanting context. "Right now?"
"...don't sound so excited, damn," Donghyuck replied in slight disgust.
Renjun rolled his eyes, "right now?"
"I mean, yeah, but you don't have to come ri-"
"Okay see ya in 5," Renjun cut him off, doing it again immediately after Donghyuck tried to talk once more. Instead, he hung up on him and stuffed his phone into his pocket.

He immediately turned to Jeno, sending him a smile to hide the fact that he was panicking a lot more than he looked like he was. He pulled his jumper down just for good measure as he stood up. Jeno, who now looked less irritated and more confused, gradually stood up himself. "What?"
"Donghyuck needs me to, uh, cook something he doesn't know," Renjun nodded.
Jeno blinked for a moment before furrowing his brows in confusion, "can't he cook better than you?"
Renjun pursed his lips together. "...he's not Chinese, can't do the Chinese food very well, tastes like shit."
Jeno nodded slowly, looking like he was going to burst into laughter. Renjun only nodded, bouncing on the spot before bolting away, yelling an arbitrary goodbye.

He could only really power walk down the street, holding his jaw and reliving events that never should've happened.