Serendipity || Kim Taehyung

2. Selfish

***

You couldn't concentrate on anything. Your mind could only think about freshly warm chocolate cookies. How the smell hit your nostril when they are perfectly baked, ready to be eaten. How they taste on your tongue. Not too crispy not too soft, they need to be somewhere in the middle. Perfect cookies.

Stop. Don't think about it.

Maybe you should text Lisa so that she could bring you some. You were not in the mood to bake right now. Lately, you've been craving different kinds of foods that you never in your life you liked. As it was the first trimester you had these weird cravings now and then. 

Yesterday you almost threw a tantrum for mint-flavored ice cream, your best friend had to go to the grocery store at 2 am to get you some. 

Poor Lisa. 

It was almost evening. You were sitting on the floor inside your living room, cross-legged head resting on both of your hands. You take your phone and text Lisa. There were papers spread around you and your laptop was on the table in front of you. 

Your friend would be here at any time and you should start cleaning the mess you have created while trying to prepare a single CV. Usually, it would take you 15 minutes. But it's been almost 2 hours since you were in that same position now. You were trying to prepare a CV for the job you were going to apply for.

Maybe I shouldn't have quit in the first place then I wouldn't have to go through this.

You had quit your previous job because you knew it wasn't enough for you. You were sure you could do better than that. At this point, you had a good experience because of all your previous jobs. You had a dream to become a successful fashion designer and have your own boutique and the job you had previously couldn't get you any of that. So you did what you had to, you quit.

But now sitting in the middle of your living room you were regretting all that because you couldn't prepare a simple CV which you're sure a middle school student could do easily by that time. You couldn't concentrate at all. Your mind kept going back to what Lisa told you yesterday after you two came back from the clinic.

She was more excited than you when you said that you were going to keep the baby. You could tell she was controlling herself from jumping in front of all the people there. 'Excited' would be an understatement for her. She thought you two should celebrate the arrival of the baby so you both decided to have a meal at your favorite restaurant. It wasn't usual that you two had the time to hang out together because of your busy schedules. 

Later that night, when you two were back home sitting comfortably in the living room, Lisa couldn't stop talking about how she was so excited about the baby's arrival. You were tired after a long day and wanted to sleep but you were also enjoying Lisa going on and on about it. Her eyes literally sparkled when she was talking. You could see how happy she was for you. Seeing her this happy you couldn't help but think, 

If he knew, would he feel the same?  

You were lost in your own thoughts when all of a sudden she asked you, "Are you sure you don't want to tell him? You know it's only fair if you tell him." 

You turned to look at her and saw her face full of concern. You knew she was worried about you.

"I know," you spoke matter of factly.