I Was Younger Then

Don't Mistake Pity for Goodwill

Even though Penny had retired to bed early the previous night she still woke after everyone had left the dormitory. She'd purposefully avoided the feast, not feeling the least bit interested in facing the room of chattering, excited students, most of whose summer remained completely unaffected by the loss of Cedric.

Scrambling to get ready, Penny raced for the Great Hall, her mind still too groggy to keep up with what she was doing and where her feet were taking her. It wasn't until hushed whispers met Penny's ears that she realized she was already standing inside the Great Hall. She glanced at the group of Slytherins looking at her, talking amongst themselves but she cared little for their sneers and her eyes moved past them to the Hufflepuff table that stood just beyond the Slytherins.

The breath caught in her chest as she looked at all the excited faces in their yellow and black robes. Penny remained fixed to the spot, uncertain how she should proceed. The Gryffindor table was at the other end of the room, so Penny had to pass the Hufflepuff table to get there, but the thought of walking past it felt like an impossible task, like an insult to Cedric's memory.

But he was no longer at that table; the friend's he used to sit with graduated. It was no longer the same place Penny had shared with him and yet she still wanted to hold onto it. Penny had expected this conflict, dreaded it even, the memory of her last morning with Cedric constantly on repeat, but now she was here and had to decide what to do.

She'd been standing in limbo for so long, blocking the way of several students that more people registered who she was and joined the whispering, some openly pointing at her and not bothering to keep their voices down. But she did not care, and the only thing that managed to take her eyes from the table was a hand wrapping its way around her arm and yanking her to the left. Startled, Penny found a head of sleek blond hair steering her to an empty space at the Slytherin table, his cool grey eyes looking Penny over.

"Don't give me that doe-eyed look of yours, I'm doing a community service. While I won't be so calloused to suggest you start dating again, but you had the summer. Honestly Penny, none of us want to be forced to look at your tragic self eating alone at the Hufflepuff table every morning, it's disgustingly poetic," he said, pushing her onto the bench and filling a plate for her.

"I don't care what you or anyone else thinks. Cedric--" Penny said, taken a-back but also annoyed, pushing the plate back at him.

"Of course you don't, because you can never let any of us forget you are a Potter," Malfoy said, the exasperation heavy in his tone. "But it has been made abundantly clear that none of those precious friends of yours had the balls to say this, so it falls on to me. Why must I always be the bad guy?" he went on, sounding convincingly conflicted as he buttered his crumpet. Penny might have believed he was sincere if she did not know him better. "It sounds harsh, but you need to move on, Penny. He's dead and we are only given a few good years to be cute, so I can't let you waste them pointlessly mourning," he went on, sounding less and less caring with each word that fell from his pretty lips.

"I'm not pointlessly mourning!"

"Oh? And what would going back to that table achieve?" he said, his eyelids heavy with scorn.

"I realize you find it easy to be detached, but some of us actually have feelings," Penny said, coldly.

"Don't try to acting like that brother of yours, we both know you aren't stupid enough to believe that self-righteous garbage," Draco said, his lip curling in disgust. "You cannot argue that pity and self interest aren't feelings just because they aren't pretty enough for you, and I feel both quite keenly. But this falls into neither of those categories, so pay close attention, Penny. All I am trying to do here is save you from condemning yourself to futility."