All because he was scared

Seventeen- kill us

Parker pov:

"So what? I'm like a little roommate now?" Eliza asks, leaning on the two chairs in front of the camera.

She looks lightly scarier today with her baggy blank pants and chains hanging off of them. She recently purchased a box of dark blue hair dye, so her hair has taken on a more blue hue, thank god, she really looked like a vampire before.

I probably shouldn't say that, she might kill me in my sleep.

Note from Eliza: wouldn't, I don't walk near his room, things have happened in there.

"Yes," Chester says, "the viewers want to see you, so we'll let them,"

Eliza cracks her knuckles, "okay,"

I chuckle at her dryness.  Then I look to Chester, "ready to film?" I ask and press a kiss to his lips.

Chester pov:

"Welcome back to another episode of luxury dark," Parker says to the camera, "Today, Chester found a site on the dark web that lets you buy a best friend. Now, Chester and I have done this in the past, but Chester thinks this site is different,"

"It is," Chester says off camera.

Rest of the video is as follows:

Parker: okay so let's check out this site.

Eliza: What are you guys doing?

Chester: Finding you a new best friend

Eliza: That's dumb.

Parker: But look, Eliza, there's so many of them. Harald, Johnny, Maxen, Jonah, and...Guppy.

*Eliza makes some sort of choked laugh sound*

Chester: lets get Guppy

Eliza: nah, he looks like he would kill me in my sleep.

Parker: you look like you would kill us in our sleep

Eliza: maybe

Chester: anyways, let's buy Guppy

Parker: dude, he's 300 dollars-

Chester: but I bet he's super funny

*some bickering later and they buy the Best Friend*

*two days later*

Parker: so the website said the best friend would be coming today

Eliza: this is stupid

*something knocks on the door*

Chester: no it's not, this could be fun

Parker: doubt it

*Parker goes to open the door*

*a tall, twisted man stands outside*

Eliza: holy s***

Chester: uhm, hi

Guppy: hi....I'm...your....best....friend

Chester whispering to Parker: bro that is not Guppy

Parker: do you want to come inside?

Eliza: oh my god

*Eliza goes upstairs*

Chester: I don't know if we should-

*Guppy enters*

Parker: okay so, Guppy, do you want to sleep on the couch?

Guppy: I...thought...we....were...going...to....play.

Parker: well, it's pretty late

*Guppy begins screaming loudly*

Chester: okay! Okay!  We'll play a game!  What do you want to play.

Guppy: hide...and...seek

*Guppy runs down the hall and goes into the basement to "hide"*

Parker: I vote we just lock him down there

Chester: ditto

*Parker locks the door*

*Guppy realizes what has happened and begins screaming and banging on the door*

Chester: uhm, do we just go to bed?

Parker: I guess.

*in the morning*

Parker: the banging stopped around 4am, so we're gonna check the basement.

Eliza: that's a bad idea.

Parker: shut up.

*Parker opens the door and gags*

Parker: oh my god what is that smell?

Chester: smells like someone died.

Eliza: maybe Guppy eats rotten flesh.

*Parker begins walking downstairs as Eliza follows*

Parker: OH MY GOD.

*Guppy's Corpse lies on the ground*

Eliza: way to go, gays, you committed manslaughter on video

Parker: we're editing that out.

Chester: are we sure he's dead?

Parker: I think so, let's hope so anyways.

Eliza: so...what do we do with it?

Chester: with what?

Eliza: our lives...no the Corpse, what else?

Parker: we dispose of it

Eliza: sounds like a job for you two, you won't catch my DNA on that thing

*Chester stops filming*

———————————————————————————
A/n: Currently watching Mean Girls for the first time, slaying.  My parents are watching it with me, also slaying. (Okay this is like two weeks old but I'm not changing it)