Love Lockdown

Red and Gold

Friday, October 2, 2020

Katara sat on their balcony in a pair of cream-colored waffle knit joggers, a cream lace bralette, and a waffle knit cropped zip-up hoodie. Fuzzy, cushioned flip-flop slippers covered her feet as she soaked in the morning sun with her hot cup of coffee. It was her first day off in five days. Since she had returned from Alaska, she had been working. And while she was exhausted, she was also thankful. She and Kai had agreed to zero communication until Christmas, but that didn't mean she didn't want to pick up the phone, call him or text him just to check in.

She had her AirPods in and was listening to Taylor Swift break up ballads on repeat. Currently, she sat quietly singing All Too Well to herself. The sights of the city at golden hour help put her at ease. She pulled the white fuzzy blanket up to cover her partially exposed chest as she sang into her coffee mug.

Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all

Down the stairs, I was there; I remember it all

It was rare; I was there, I remember it all too well

She closed her eyes as a breeze lifted her hair around her and brought with it another chill that went through her. She sighed as the song changed. She finished off her coffee, placed the empty mug on the table before resting her head on one of the pillows. She knew she was starting to feel a little more like her old self, but there were days, like today, when all she wanted to do was crawl into bed and cry.

She wondered why the hurt that Jet had caused her had dissipated so quickly. She had attributed it to Kai and his ability to solve her problems with his kind heart. Now, though, she thought maybe it was because she was fooling herself into thinking she had actually loved Jet. She sat there comparing her only two relationships and quickly realized that the feelings she had for Jet were nothing more than gratitude for releasing her from her self-imposed emotional lockdown. Her feelings for Kai had grown from friends to family to lovers all throughout her life. What they shared was beautiful, and remembering how it fell apart made it hurt so much more.

One day I know I'll look back on this and smile. It might be a sad smile, but I'll smile because it was real, it was love, and I was lucky enough to find it. She told herself as she began to drift to sleep on the small couch on their balcony.

Zuko walked into the living room, and before he called out to her, he heard her soft voice singing on the balcony. He walked over to the door and listened as she sang, feeling immensely calm as the sweet notes eased his stress as they filled his ears. When she stopped singing, Zuko moved to check how she was doing. She had been a wreck the entire week, but there were moments where she was hopeful not just for herself but for Kai as well. He had seen her journaling more and more that week. He gently shook her shoulder only to startle her. "Sorry, I just came to check on you," Zuko explained as he took a seat on the couch beside her.

Katara turned and curled into his side, resting her head on his shoulder. Zuko wrapped her up in his arms and pulled her into his lap. She glanced up at him and smiled shyly as he hugged her close. "I don't think I've said thank you for this week. I've been a mess, and you've helped so much," She told him as she snuggled into his hold more.

He sat back, putting his feet up as he looked out at the burnt red-orange and pink sky as it turned into a deep purple. "It was no problem. Made me feel useful," He admitted and shivered when he felt her breath on his neck.

"Well, I am very grateful for all the help. You cleaned, cooked, and dealt with lots of tears. And you never once complained, so thank you," Katara said again and felt as his arms tightened around her.