surreptitious (h.s.)

cuddles and confessions

18+ readers only

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Y/N was driving herself crazy.

She was sitting on Harry's bed contemplating what she should do, thoughts racing through her head like a stampede.

She figured she had three options. She could stay in her current position and sulk, study, or go find Harry and try to talk to him. The sensible thing to do would've been studying as it had already dwindled down to finals week, but she knew she wouldn't be able to focus until she got this mess with Harry taken care of.

She knew Harry wasn't gone for good - he lived at the flat after all - but what if after last night he decided that he doesn't actually want to be with her, that he had made a mistake? Did she completely turn him off? Was he so embarrassed of her behavior he couldn't face her?

She was embarrassed of herself, that's for sure.

She didn't know why she drank so much or acted so immature with Harry at dinner and then the party. What was he supposed to do, be all over her in front of everyone? After she had told him they needed to lay low in front of Connor and the public in general?

Hopping up from the bed, she sighed heavily and pressed her fingertips to her temples. She was headed for her room to come up with some kind of plan to get Harry to talk to her, but something on his desk caught her eye. She turned around and faced the old piece of furniture, carefully lifting the loose piece of paper off of the wooden surface and realizing it was some of his artwork. Harry was never comfortable showing her his drawings so she felt a little invasive, but she couldn't take her eyes off of the beautiful piece.

It was a drawing of her face.

Y/N felt her heart swelling as she took in the sketch that portrayed her with such delicacy and warmth. Long, thick eyelashes were feathered around an expressive and captivating pair of eyes, her cheekbones stained with the faintest of rosy hues and a smile as bright as the sun. She'd never seen herself like this before. Is this how Harry sees her?

Tears pricked Y/N's eyes as she placed the paper back on the desk, wondering if Harry still saw her the same way after last night. She wondered where he could be at that moment. Sure, she could text him and ask but she doubted he would reply, or maybe he had even blocked her number. She didn't have it in her to face such truths at that moment.

If she actually went looking for him as she was previously considering then she might look desperate, and she didn't want to appear any crazier than she did in her recent drunken stupor.

She suddenly remembered Harry's words from last night as she stumbled into her room to get dressed. Yeah, maybe he wasn't too thrilled with her after having that many drinks, but his biggest concern with this whole situation seemed to be her brother. That had been their biggest barrier this entire time, and Harry was right. They should've just told Connor right off the bat.

That was it; if this was going to work, she needed to speak to Connor. Not to get his permission, but to make him aware of the situation. It would make things much less complicated, and if he had a problem with it, he would need to face it like an adult and learn to get over it.

**********

Connor worked at a comic book shop.

Sometimes it got boring due to a lack of customers, but the nice thing about it was he could study on the clock and take lunch whenever he wanted since they had no "peak customer" times. Today he would be having lunch with his sister.

Y/N had texted him just as Coley was dropping him off at work, but he hadn't noticed the text until he got inside, too distracted by his girlfriend's goodbye kiss. Y/N had typed out that she needed to talk to him and would bring him lunch, and who was he to pass up a free meal?