𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐞 𝐮𝐩𝐨𝐧 𝐮𝐬 - 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐮 𝐊𝐨𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐮 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟏

It had been a little longer than a week since Shinobu had taken Tanjiro and Inosuke to train. And in that time, I had had a few conversations with the two boys and their yellow-headed friend whose name still remains foreign to me- truly a breed of his own, he was. A new specimen of a person that only a trained few could handle; I remember how it went with him.

When was that? It was last Wednesday, I think. I was standing outside the door, opening it gently as not to startle the boy. I had one hand on the door and the other holding a tray of his daily medicine, whispering to myself to carefully step in without spilling anything since Shinobu was upset enough at me. He had his back faced toward me and without thought, he started to yell about how bitter the medicine was. "Aoi-san!" He had called out desperately in hopes of mercy. 

"Zenitsu-kun, is it? That's your name, right?" I asked, making sure he knew I wasn't the Aoi-san he so dreadfully feared.

"Huh?" He answered from in between his nears and drooling snot. 

"It's Y/N-san! I don't think we've spoken before."

"Oh, oh. You're the person with Shinobu-sama the other day, right?" He said, slowly turning around to face me. I had taken a seat on the short, three-legged wooden stool in front of his bed.

"That's right! Aoi-san is busy training the other boys today, so I'm the one taking care of you today."

"Oh, I remember you. I don't remember you looking this good that other day, though." He looked down, avoiding my gaze. 

"Is that so?"

"You've got quite the...essence. Do you work as a model or something outside of this job? I think you'd do wonderfully out there."

His voice was soft and timid. It almost seemed like he was a completely different person from the time we first admitted him; he was the loudest person we ever met, and his shrieks had no equal. From the moment we saw him at the door until hours after we assigned a bed for him, he never stopped screaming even for a breath- he would look around and complain about everything, crying about himself and how he was almost turned into a 'hideous, disgusting shitty little spider'. 

"Zenitsu-kun, are you alright?" 

"Yes, yes. I'm okay."

"Is there anything bothering you?"

"No." He stopped, "Just that...I can't believe so many good-looking people have to see me like this. I wish I was in a better condition for you to see me."

I giggled at his response.

"You think I'm good-looking? I'd understand Shinobu-san- I think she's beautiful, too."

"Sure, I think you're cute. You'd be great making a living out of your looks." 

It was then that he finally looked at me. I could see a faint- well, it wasn't just faint. More like, a very obvious- blush on his face. The red that tinted his cheeks slowly crawled over to the rest of his face.

"You sure got your charming words, Zenitsu-kun."

He didn't say anything after that.

"...Do you still remember my name?" I asked.

"Yeah, you mentioned it when you entered the room. It's Y/N-sama, right?"

"It is. I'm glad you haven't forgotten in the span of five minutes. After I met that boar-headed boy, I was almost sure forgetting names were a thing you shared."

"No, that's just him. He's strange and won't stop yelling- but he's been a little out of his personality these days, don't you think? Ever since he was admitted, he wouldn't speak a single word. That's not like him. Not at all. When we first met he jumped on me and started beating me up while yelling like a madman; and then he delivered a punch to my chest so hard, it took two of my ribs."

"That sounds terrifying, Zenitsu-kun. Well, I did have a short meeting with Inosuke on Natagumo; when I had assisted him in killing that humongous spider demon, he challenged me to a fight with him. I didn't accept as he was severely injured and I had other tasks to finish, but I don't think I ever will at this point. He's in a recovery stage at the moment and his mental health has been going through a major change ever since we got off the mountain and he was admitted. There's no shame in ever asking for help but since he's always used to being independent, he's sensing a change and it's taking a toll. There's nothing to worry about, I hope."

Zenitsu looked down at his blanket with a small frown. His hair created a deeper shadow that almost covered his eyes and his nose sniffled like he was holding back something. I heard from Tanjiro the other day that they've grown to be good friends and created a bond, so I assume it's the worry for a companion. 

"Y/N-sama, why did you become a demon slayer?"

"Hm?" I replied, a little confused at his sudden question.

"I remember when we were going up the mountain. Inosuke-san and Tanjiro-san didn't hesitate to climb up as fast as possible and help the demon slayers struggling on the mountain, but I didn't go with them. I was on the ground rolling in fear. And hours later into the night, I was lying helplessly on the rooftop of that shack about to die- I think I would have if it weren't for Shinobu-sama's medicine. I haven't felt as useless as this. Everyone has a purpose but it feels like I'm only here to distract people and serve as a menace; I didn't even join the Corps willingly. Like I'm nothing but an extra burden to everyone's shoulders since I can't do anything."

"You're not a burden, Zenitsu-kun. You're important to the corps and many other demon slayers would have fallen victim and died if it weren't for your skills. You don't realize how important you are because you feel weak, but that was never the case!"

"You think so?"

"Sure. Shinobu-san told us when Murata came to give the reports. To be honest, I have my own insecurities when it comes to strength and being in the Corps. Only the strongest, selected few can become one of us but sometimes I can't help but wonder if it was just a shortage or a coincidence. I don't know if I became a pillar because I deserved it or because I was just the previous taken in tsuguko. But in the end, I'll put trust in myself that whatever decision was made was right and it was the final conclusion. You're here for a reason. You have a purpose."

Before Zenitsu could reply, a loud slam interrupted us and cut the conversation short. Aoi-san marched in, with a new tray with the food assigned for today sitting on a flat plate.

"Well, I enjoyed that. I hope we'll speak again in the future, Zenitsu-kun. Aoi-san, I'll leave the rest here for you to handle." I smiled.

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Word count: 1149

A/N: This new chapter isn't in the canon anime or manga so I'm sorry if the characters sound a little out of character. For now, I wanted to explore something I thought Zenitsu would be insecure about; the reader has a natural instinct to help the people around them because they know how it felt to be lost and alone with no one to guide them.

I'm sorry I haven't really been active. Something just came up and took a toll on my emotional health- I hope you'll forgive me.