It's been a while since the last time I tried to write to you. Things have been complicated. So I complicated them a little bit more, so I could just avoid writing a letter to your ghost.
Little Sam got sick. We were terrified. But he's a baby he is going to get sick. But we... mom, you broke us in ways you don't even understand..."
❀
"Mark, where is he? Is he okay?" Amber ran at the hospital, just the next day. After she had calmed down and realised that she couldn't take back anything she had done that night, she called Mark. The voicemails on her phone were too many and even though Mark hadn't told her that he had taken Sam to the hospital, she still recognised the fear in his voice.
"Calm down, he's fine." Mark pulled her back when she tried to burst into the room. When Amber called him the previous night he broke down and told her that he is taking Sam to the hospital because of his high fever. But as it turned out Sam was okay. And Mark had a new kind of trauma to work on, his kids slipping away from him just like his wife. "He's fine. It was nothing."
"It was nothing?" Amber yelled angrily. She had spent the flight back to Seattle and the car ride to the hospital biting off her nail because of how anxious and scared she was. And she was not expecting to hear that. "It didn't sound like it was nothing when we talked. I spent my last money on this flight, do you know how much it costed me? I need to get a job. And who is going to hire a college dropout? No one!"
"Amber, breathe please." Mark told her with his hands on her shoulders. "I am sorry that I got you worried. I wasn't planning on doing that. I was really scared." He admitted. "And when you're scared you make mistakes."
Amber took in a shakily breath. She looked at Mark with teary eyes. And then she closed her eyes picturing that her mother was trying to comfort her. And she realised in that moment that she would trade anyone with her mother, just so she could bring her back.
