im that girl ( honey cocaine & tyga love story )

chapter 16

After we left panera bread, I had trey take me back home.
"Trey I had a really good time with you today. I hope we can do stuff like this more often." I said.

"You know my door is always open whenever you need me I will be here. Don't forget that."

"Thank you trey I really appreciate all that you do for me."

"Anytime"

I walked up to my building and in the door reflection I could see he was waiting until I got inside before he drove off. I went to the mail box to check my mail. As I walked up the stairs I noticed a huge box sitting in front of my door. I thought that was weird because I haven't ordered anything recently. I unlocked my door and pushed the box inside. I walked into my kitchen to get a knife to cut open the box. It wasn't a huge box but it was pretty big.

Finally I had gotten the box open and when I looked inside it was a huge blown up picture of me and tyga when we took our family photo shoot with some red roses. This was nice but the thought of us being together made my head hurt. Everything was so messed up and now wasn't the time to be dealing with this. I'm just finding out I'm pregnant with twins and now this. I went to go hang the picture up in the babies room. I put the roses into a vase with some water. I've just been so tired lately, I hardly do anything anymore. I went straight to my room to put on some grey sweat pants a blue nautica shirt and my nautica sandals. I took off all my makeup and put my hair in a high ponytail. Grabbing my keys, phone and wallet I walked out to my all white Mercedes in my garage. Starting the engine I backed out with ease and was on my way.

I entered the drive way. I was so nervous. I tried to make sure I looked decent. Since I'm four months pregnant I'm a little self conscious about my body especially around him. I got out the car and saw that his car and 2 other cars were here. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Michael opened the door with no shirt on. Mhm he doesn't have and affect on my anymore. I think I might be over him especially after what happened yesterday.

"Man what you want?" He asked kinda aggravated.

"I just wanted to see if i could come in and talk to you?"

"Today is not a good time"

"And why not?"

"I'm busy..."

"Its really important it won't take long I promise"

"Man alright"

He led me inside and as I walked in I could hear laughter. I could really tell he was busy. He walked pass the living room and I could see his mom and a pregnant girl sitting on the sofa watching TV. As I was trying to get a closer look tyga pulled me to the back yard. We sat on the swing and was quiet for a minute. It was nice just taking in each others presence. He was the one to break the ice.
"Soo what was so important that you couldn't tell me over the phone"

"Well I'm having twins, I'm not sure the gender. The doctor said that the other baby was hiding behind the other so that's why we didn't know at first."

"That's good to hear I guess"

"That's all you have to say?"

"I don't have nothing else to say"

"Is that Alicia in there?"

"Yeah she's 6 months pregnant. She just now telling me. She's not that big so I thought she was gaining weight."

"Oh how nice"
I got up wiped my tears. I don't know how I couldn't have been so stupid why did I do this to myself. I'm just a screw up, I mess everything up! We both walked quietly back to the front, this time it was quiet in the living room. I looked in and his mom and Alicia were staring at us.

"Well well well look what the cat dragged in, if it isn't sochita the home wrecking wench."

"Shut the hell up Alicia I ain't got time for your bullshit today"

"You mad Michael don't want you anymore" she said laughing.

"Last time I checked he cheated on you and got me pregnant so I think I picked up your slack"
Before she could say anything Michael cut her off.

"Ayye y'all chill out. This shit here unnecessary, you acting childish as fuck and my moms right here"

"Michael you know she mad disrespectful and she always come slick out the mouth when I'm never talking to her." I said.

"Sochita honey please just leave, your causing all this commotion and its not good for both of the babies. From what I hear your always starting drama"

"Maybe it wasn't such a good idea coming over by the way if you wanted to know I'm pregnant with twins, your grandchildren"

"Honey, please leave" Michael asked.

I took one last glimpse at them before I left. I was tired of pittying myself. I don't have no friends no family down here. My best friend is in college doing her own thing no need to burden her with my problems. I just decided to go to the studio. Its been a while since I've made something.

Leaving the dreadful place I made my way to the studio. I noticed treys car out. As I walked in I heard him playing around with the beats.

"Knock knock" I said

"Hey there I didn't expect to see you here"

"Yeah I just felt like it was time to get back in the studio you know"

"Yeah I totally understand, by all means its all yours. I was just finishing up"

I got in the booth and started free styling
Out of place, out of space & time
Wide awake out of papers, I am
Not okay, I am out my mind
Outer space, that's where
I've been going
To a place where
Place where nobody knows
Floating, at a pace where
Now you see me, and now you don't

I do not feel the fear of falling
I wanna fly
If it all goes well, then I will
But what if I don't?
I'll be right where I was before
But I'm not alone
You say "take my hand"
And we go (and we go)
And we go (and we go)
And I hope that we don't overdose
Cause we don't (cause we don't)
No we don't (no we don't)
Ever know when we have had enough

Wait
Now my thoughts so cloudy
And my heart's so crowded
With pain
I am so frustrated
Like my soul's been taken away
Broken promise of everything
That I thought you were
Thought you said this would never hurt
That's what it did
That is all

I do not feel the fear of falling
Thought I could fly
It didn't go well, but oh well
What do you know?
I'm right back where I was before
But I'm not alone
You say "take my hand"
And we go (and we go)
And we go (and we go)
And I hope that we don't overdose
Cause we don't (cause we don't)
No we don't (no we don't)
Ever know when we have had enough

I'm a be so cold
Need some more
I've never felt these things before
I'm a think, for sure
Please don't go
How could you not need me no more?
I don't get it
You're the only thing that I love
You're the only thing that I want
You're the only reason
The only reason

I do not feel the fear of falling
I wanna fly
If it all goes well, then I will
But what if I don't?
I'll be right where I was before
You're all that I know

When I finished I felt so much relief. I forgot how good this felt. To get everything off of my chest.
"Well that was one hell of a song"

" yeah I know this is how I'm kind of feeling at the moment about everything. I'm so tired."

"I feel you. I hope all goes well with everything"

"Thanks trey see you around."
Little did he know this would be the last time anyone would see me.