In One Frame

Strawberries and Cigarettes II

TAY POV

The AC was blasting all over my room, I lay there with a cigarette in my hand puffing out smoke, I looked at the clock it was 3 in the morning.
A silhouette stirred through the sheets, arms draped on my chest and a leg tangled on my thigh.
I puff a smoke again staring at the ceiling wondering why that strawberry scent won't leave my senses alone.

It's been a year since he left, a year since I've gone crazy sleeping off my night weekends with different people, and it's one of those nights.
I yanked the sheets covering the person beside me and woke them up.

"get out" - Tay

" Wha...  What? "- Mild

" I said get out now" - Tay

I blew a puff of smoke in her face, I met this girl at a club. She has a faint smell of strawberries in her but it was different, I didn't like her voice or her kisses. She was not him, not him at all.

"FUCK YOU!!!"- Mild

As she huffed and gathered her things all around, I just watched leaning onto my headboard.

" Close the door" - Tay

"Asshole!!!"- Mild

Asshole, dickhead, douchebag,
motherfucker those insults hurled at me won't make me any less hurt than I had been for the past 5 years 4 months 2 weeks 3 days 11 hours 33 minutes and 26 seconds.

Am I crazy? yes, I am...
I've been counting till' I can smell those strawberries I yearn.
For exactly a long time, when I thought life was a fairytale of sweet nights, romantic sunsets, and mind-blowing fucks.

New was a career-driven man, not that I was complaining 4 years into dating and he got it all mapped out family, career, dreams, and whatnot. All of which I was part of and to be honest I would wish nothing more.
But life was a bitch in the apparition of my childhood friend called Namtam.

You see I was a Vihokratana life pretty much was planned for me the day my mother decided to flush me out of the world and that includes my family and my career, not my dreams though. I was set to inherit the whole Vihokratana empire, that night when I met New I was drinking on a one-week spree to make me forget all my dreams and aspirations all of which were shattered by the news I was to be engaged and set to marry.

As I said New and I went around for 4 years that's how long I held him at arm's length fighting for him to my family, I was ready to lay my life on the line but New wasn't.
He did what he thought was the right and he let me go after talking to my pleading mom to take back everything I've said that I'd as well take the Techaapaikun's name rather than being tied to a bitch with delusional tendencies and made a living hell out of New's life every chance she got.

New was kind, sweet, and a total angel. A family-oriented man and that's what hit him hard when he thought that he was ruining the family I have.
That kindness shattered us both, the kind that ate us both, the kind of guilt that stained our perfect fairytale.
We fought every day I was trying to hold onto everything that is him, every bit that he could give.
I was desperate that he can't be out of my life.

But 4 years wasn't able to save our fall out we separated, New moved on to another country to start a new life away from the clutches of the Vihokratana name.
I on the other succeeding my father's wishes but not without a fight of being married to Tipnaree, I threatened to leave this earth if I was to be wed, I've got the guts since I already lost my entire reason for living, the car crash had made them realize I was serious and had stopped trying to wed me off.

I was drunk driving through the highway, where New and I drove the first night I met him. The car crashed to the side of the road and skidded off to the beach I was admitted for a week to the hospital with a broken arm and head concussion but it didn't hurt as much as when I heard that New was going to leave the country that very same day. A month after our break up. Oh, how I'd wish the sands would swallow me whole.