FUMES [2], jj maybank

11. I'M USING WHITE LIGHTERS TO SEE

"I'M HOME!" JOHN B DROPPED me off. It's dark out by the time I get in my house but I hear conversations. Suddenly, Justin turns the corner, drunk as hell and hugs me. "Hey, Justin," I pat him on the back. "I've missed you. You're always out with your boyfriend—"

"You love JJ!"

"I do, I do love JJ but I miss you, so much," Justin pulls away and smiles, "Come drink!" I can't deny that offer.

Justin drags me by the wrist to the wine and shoves a glass in my face. The smell of wine isn't pleasant to me but the taste is great. I take the glass and down it before my mom can see it. Justin goes into the cabinet and gets a whole bottle of the wine. An unopened one. "Woah, are you giving me the whole bottle—"

"You need it," He slurs his words, "Your dad was here, did you know that? Oh, you didn't." I stare at Justin and his drunk words. I almost drop the bottle in my hand. I can feel the sweat form on them.

"He was goin' on and on about you kids, how ungrateful you all are but I don't think you guys are. I think the moms that raised y'all did beautifully. I'm gonna go lay down. Enjoy the wine," He pats me on the back and wobbles away, leaving me stunned.

I can't keep hearing about Weston. I was doing so well. I was happy for the most part at least. This shit will never be fair. What did I, as a child, do to a grown man, for him to hate me so much?

I stare at the red wine bottle in my hand. I have to get up on time tomorrow to help the boys with this horrible plan but I'll be fine. I can do this.

I use the bottle opener next to me and pop the cork off and put the bottle to my lips. I chug for a little bit before pulling back for air and wiping my mouth. I can see the back of my mom's head and I hear her laugh.

  What did she do to deserve a shitty husband? And why am I always so mad at her for it? I feel a tear roll down and just go upstairs with the bottle.

What time is it? God, everything is blurry. "Sam?" I jump at the voice.

  "How drunk are you?"

   It's Bailey.

"Not that drunk—" I roll over and immediately regret it when my head feels so much pressure. "My limbs feel loose," I say. I hope that makes sense. They're all noodles. "Stop drinking. I think you're good. Don't you have something to do with the boys?" Bailey sighs. I groan and turn the other way.

   "Yeah, they want to make Sarah and Kie friends again."

"That's good. Kie is very bitter about Sarah," Bailey says. I can hear Bailey shuffle in her bed. God, water would be good right now. "Yeah, she's a bitch. Kie is, not Sarah," I correct myself.