Him & I¹||Aidan Gallagher

19|Softcore

"Feels like I can't move..."

Aidan's Pov:

After getting home from school, I wish I could say that I was forced to sit on the bathroom counter but wasn't, I chose to. I clenched my jaw while Y/n cleaned my arm, "Are you done yet?" I asked. "If you keep moving I won't get it done-" she said concentrating, I saw her grab the alcohol and knew what was coming next.

Even though I tried preparing myself for the burning, stinging pain it still hurt like fuck and my intention was to pull away from her but she was also trying to help me.

"Aidan chill the fuck out-" she said, and then I noticed that she was trying her best not to smile. Wait a minute. "I told you that once-" I realized. She nodded and wrapped my arm in some bandages we had bought on the way here.

"There, now please. Don't try anything.." her voice suddenly became scared and worried as she looked at me. I then realized what she was talking about, I got off of the counter and held her waist. "The last thing I ever want to do is relapse, Y/n. I'll try my best to keep my head clear of it.."

I looked at her, she put her arms on my shoulders. "Tell me if something is bothering you, I.." she started to tear up, "I don't want to see you like that.. again-" I put her head against my chest and heard her cry quietly, my hand rested on top of her head while I calmed her down.

"I'll tell you, if something is bothering me. Ok.." I whispered quietly, she raised her head a little bit and looked at me and again nodded in response.

She stepped away from me and went to the other room, while I stood in the middle of the bathroom. What if I had lied to her? What if I did relapse, if she found out she'd probably leave me. But it was too tempting, I needed another way to get rid of the thoughts and pain.

I would drink, but I don't want to end up like the drunks I've met in my past, or even worse case scenario.

My second thoughts kept on annoying me, to the point I was paranoid. But then I remembered something about Y/n when we first met, she said something on how she'd write on her arms or thighs instead of hurting herself.

Maybe that could be my option instead. I walked out of the bathroom and went to look for her around the house, "Y/n?" I called for her, but didn't hear or see her.

I went into the kitchen and went into the drawer and found a marker, that would do, right? I guess it didn't matter what you used to write with, it was black, which I wished it was a different color because now it'd be harder to wash off.

But right now I didn't care, I sat down at the dining room table and started to write on my arm that had finally healed. Whatever came first to my thoughts I wrote.

Now the night, is coming to an end
...
Stay alive
Stay alive
...
I will fear, the night again
...
I hope I'm not my only friend
...
Stay alive
Stay alive
...
You will die..

Looking at what I wrote, it seemed stupid. Maybe it wouldn't work, I still felt the same, was I going to feel like this the rest of my life? I didn't want to though. I went to rub the ink off of my arm but all it did was smear, I groaned loudly slouching in the chair now, I got up and went to the sink and wash it off.

I scrubbed hard, and then realized what I was doing. I shut the water off and backed away from the counter looking at it, "I can't fucking believe this.." I said to myself looking down at my arm, I couldn't even scrub my hands or arms without hurting myself.

I heard footsteps coming into the kitchen and I looked up to see Y/n, "Hey, you ok?" She asked, I bit the inside of my cheek and nodded. "Yeah.. I'm ok.." I said smiling a little at her.