Run Away, Vienos

Prologue

I was running out of breath while literally running to the woods. I feel like I am being chased, I feel like someone would kill me. But when I looked behind, there was none. There were no people or even a single person behind me.

I stopped and held on my knees for support. I was panting so bad while there are so many things running inside my mind. Galit, lungkot, inis, sakit, poot... I am also crying. I felt the urge to stop, to breakdown, to just sit here and cry while I am carrying so many burdens inside me. Hindi ko na kaya pang magpatuloy, hindi ko na kayang lumaban pa, hindi ko na kayang tumakbo pa.

But the sudden thought of my parents' faces while suffering because of my pain... made me realize why I shouldn't stop.

My brother who was already breaking while seeing our condition, my parents being so fucked up because of those people who are really bringing us down, and him, crying because he sees where I am coming from but can't do anything.

Ang sakit... pero hindi dapat ako sumuko. Ayokong umupo lamang dito. Gusto kong maramdaman nila ang nararamdaman ng pamilya ko!

So I continued running, I continued seeking justice. The way they stepped on me, the way they destroyed me, the way they hurt me, and the way they broke me into pieces... they don't deserve my forgiveness.

"Ate, si Ate Roxy!" Andra, my youngest cousin announced. I sniffed and wiped my tears after seeing her excited face. "Ate Roxy! Namiss kita!" she shouted as she ran to hug me. I couldn't help but burst out. After all this time, I still have a cousin who's willing to hug me and make me feel loved.

"Diandra, pumunta ka nga rito!" Daisy shouted as soon as she went out of their house. She pulled her sister away from me. Sumunod naman si Darren na masama ang tingin sa akin.

"You shouldn't be here, Roxy. Kung ako sa 'yo, lalayas na ako. Hindi na sa 'yo 'tong lupa---"

"You didn't buy it in the right way; you didn't undergo the process correctly, so this is still mine!" I shouted.

"Aba't talagang may mukha ka pang ihaharap sa amin, ah?" Francis said. Kasunod niya na ang iba kong mga pinsan. "Pagkatapos ng mga ginawa ng magulang mo? Talaga namang ang kapal ng mukha mo!"

"France, that's enough," saway ni Marcus. I looked at him, seeking help. "You should go now, Rox, please---"

"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked as a tear rolled from my eye. "Of all those people I have in my life, I never expected you to turn your backs on me."

"Rox---"

"No, Marcus!" I shouted as I aggressively shook my head.

"Sino ba kasing may sabing mag-expect ka?" It was Auntie Marion, my aunt. She's wearing the dress that was my mom's. I cannot help but to cry while staring at her. "Akala mo ba eepekto 'yang paawa effect mo? Kung ako sa 'yo, uuwi na ako, Roxanne."

Up until now, I never expected them to put us into this shit. Hanggang ngayon, nagtatanong ako sa sarili ko. What did I do wrong? What did we do wrong for them to make us feel this awful?

"No... Kayo ang umuwi," I said with conviction as the anger started rising up on me again. Auntie Marion's mouth gaped open as I glared at her. I wiped my tears again. "If you want me to go home, get out of my house first."

I was surprised when Uncle Randy pulled out a gun and aimed it on my chest. I heard their gasps with that while I felt my body shaking in fear. But showing them what I truly feel will just satisfy them, so I cannot. I stared at him bravely.

"I know every tiny secret of this family, Uncle," I said as I wandered my gaze around. "Corruption, depravity, infidelity, malevolence... I know." Then I brought back my eyes on him. I saw how he tightened his grip on the gun. Dahan-dahan ding umigting ang panga niya at galit na tumingin sa akin. "Alam ko lahat... lahat-lahat."