My Secret Love: Kogitsune X Mikazuki (Touken Ranbu)

My Secret Love - Part 2

CHAPTER 4

Kogitsune wandered through the garden, hoping the crisp night air would clear his head. Mikazuki's scent still clung to him, and his hands ached with the need to hold him once more. Images of Mikazuki flashed through his mind; his regret and uncertainty twisting his stomach into knots. He shouldn't have left so suddenly. Mikazuki deserved an explanation, but Kogitsune hadn't known what to say.

Kogitsune liked Mikazuki. More than he'd ever liked anyone in his life. From the way Mikazuki walked and talked, right down to the slightly confused, yet somehow thoughtful expression the male always wore. He was adorably clueless, while being effortlessly graceful and elegant at the same time. He made you want to take care of him in the hopes he'd reward you with a glimpse of his lovely smile...

Yes, Kogitsune definitely liked Mikazuki; more than he liked good food and warm sake, and that was saying a lot.

But love?

Love was a concept Kogitsune wasn't familiar with. He understood the basics, and as a male in his prime, he was smart enough to fear it. Love meant commitment and long-term expectations; two things Kogitsune wasn't ready for. There were too many unknowns; too many uncertainties. The same could be said for war, but at least in battle, Kogitsune felt powerful and in control. In battle, his mind was clear and his movements practiced precision. But with Mikazuki...

Just being in the male's presence made Kogitsune feel... out of control. He was nervous and uncertain of his next move, and his belly felt like it was filled with hundreds of butterflies all trying to escape at once. His mind, and all its thoughts, remained in a constant shroud of fog, growing thicker the longer he stayed at Mikazuki's side. The whole experience was disconcerting to say the least, and if that was how love made you feel, then Kogitsune wanted no part of it.

But, it also went beyond Kogitsune's internal struggle. He respected Mikazuki, and despite their undeniable sexual attraction, he wanted to build a friendship with Sword at the very least. Kogitsune had already left a string of broken hearts behind him; men and women who'd wanted more than he was willing to give, and he didn't want to add Mikazuki to the list.

Hurting the male was the last thing Kogitsune wanted to do, and exploring a merely sexual relationship with him just didn't seem fair, especially when it was obvious Mikazuki wanted more. A friendship wouldn't be possible if they were bitter ex-lovers, and Kogitsune couldn't bear the thought of Mikazuki hating him.

The more he thought about it, the more he realized he'd made the right decision by leaving. He just wished he'd thought about all this before he and Mikazuki had sex. The memory of their night together would be hard to forget, but if there was any chance of salvaging a friendship, the first step was putting it behind them.

When Kogitsune finally made it back to his room, he felt better about his decision. He was doing the right thing, and once he explained it all to Mikazuki, he was sure the male would understand his reasoning as well. Though a friendship might be ambitious, hopefully this decision would preserve any future dealings they might have. Yes, this was for the best, and Kogitsune slept better for the knowing.

CHAPTER 5

"You told him you loved him?" Tsurumaru squeaked, looking almost as pale as Mikazuki.

"I didn't mean to," Mikazuki groaned, dropping into his seat. "It just kind of slipped out."

"Well, I don't know much about relationships," Tsurumaru said thoughtfully, "but even I know confessing your love after a one night stand is a definite mood killer."