I've had chest and stomach pains for the past few months. Several times I vomited roses mixed with blood. I didn't dare to tell anyone. I keep this strange disease to myself. Although not infrequently I suddenly feel like throwing up when in a crowd. Especially when I saw him with other people. My heart aches like a thorn is pricking my bones. At first I thought this was normal but after realising that I was suffering from hanahaki, a disease of vomiting rose flowers that can make the sufferer die because of unrequited love Because poisonous roses will grow in the body. Since I fell in love with nanon without daring to express it directly. Almost every day I vomit, which was originally one or two flowers, now ten flowers come out of my body mixed with blood.
I smiled at the tall, sturdy figure next to me. We got projects together. He and I will play a series at our agency. I no longer feel any pain or nausea since being close to nanon anymore. Every day we practise together, spend time alone with him like we used to. But after filming was over, my chest suddenly hurt when I saw nanon joking and laughing with several girls, not only girls, it even hurt more when he was close to another boy, even though I knew that they were nothing more than friends. But my heart hurts. I ran to the bathroom, I threw up again.
"Ohm, are you okay?" Chimon asked from outside the bathroom.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied.
"Nanon saw you running, he was afraid something might happen to you. Thank goodness you're okay, come out when you're done. He's waiting for you outside"
"Oh,"
When I came out of the toilet. Nanon was waiting for me, his face looked very worried. I smiled as best I could even though my chest still hurt and my stomach was very queasy.
"Mheng, are you okay?" asked nanon
"Oh," I replied.
I put my arm around his shoulder. He smiled and stroked my head. I feel my pain lessen. Wonderful.
***
My health deteriorated drastically. But I can't do much because my schedule is very tight.
Tonight I returned to my private apartment alone, usually my manager would accompany me. I just want to be alone. My chest hurts, my stomach feels nauseous. I threw up a few times.
I had just finished writing a letter to Nanon and was about to go to the bathroom when suddenly my vision was blurry, my stomach was so nauseous that I vomited flowers mixed with blood so much, twice as much as before. I don't know what happened after that, everything was dark and I couldn't hear anything. Lonely.
***
Dear my cutie dimple
I'm happy to know you. The first time we met at the agency, I fell in love with you, especially since you have a unique golden voice. You are also humble and a fun person. I'm happy when we play series together that time, we spend time together. Your laughter, your jokes, everything I like. Smile more na mheng. Don't be sad. I love to see you smile. Your cutie dimple is my favourite. Nanon, thank you for teaching me, strengthening me when I'm down, protecting me when haters attack me. Nanon, if there's a chance I'd love to spend some time on vacation with you but that's not possible because we have a busy schedule. :-(
I'm happy to know you. Maybe words represent feelings but I fell in love in my silence. I'm happy even though my love is unrequited, at least I'm happy to meet someone like you. Maybe when you read this I'm no longer in this world. Be happy, whoever it is that person must be very lucky to have you. I'm sorry, I went this way. I'd rather die with your love than lose my love for you. This is how I love you.
Khu Rak mheng na nanon
Nanon crumpled the letter Ohm had written for him.
"Cough-cough,"
Nanon immediately threw the paper away when he heard someone coughing.
"Ohm you okay, how do you feel?"
"Mheng, where am I?"
Nanon didn't answer. He immediately hugged Ohm
"Mheng, you idiot. Why haven't you said you like me all this time."
"I just don't want our friendship to change, as long as you're happy I'll be happy too,"
"Stupid! If I was late, you would not have been in this world. I love you stupid. ILOVEYOU HEAR THIS. YOU ARE STUPID. YOU SUFFERED LIKE THIS AND STILL THINK ABOUT MY HAPPINESS. " Nanon sobbed in Ohm's arms.
"Kho thud na, Thank you for loving this stupid boy, I love you too,"
Slowly the pain in Ohm's stomach and chest disappeared. He didn't even feel nauseous anymore. Love is magic .
