Do I really worth? (Jinx x reader)

Chapter 8 (The mission day)

I stood up without saying anything and left the caffe immediately, fortunately it stooped raining and the streets were empty except some enforcers separated everywhere giving me a suspect look, I didn't give them any attention and keep walking, I walk for long time without knowing where am going I just want to return back to the lanes, I may walked for half an hour until I found myself in a small dark lane their was nobody, as I want I lean my balk to a wall and slowly getting on the ground my mind would blow from the screaming I pulled a cigarette to reduce from noes before I collapse, I tried to light it with the lighter, god damn! the lighter didn't work, I tried once again but still nothing "is this world standing against me or what?" I threw it and hit my head against the wall, and hit again, and again, again, again..., until I felt a warm liquid is covering my neck and slowly flowing to cover my whole back and the warmth is separating through my whole body, that feel good I give up to it and lay down on my side, the screams still shouting, this time I didn't try to stop her, I was tired, just listening to what it saying, "you an idiot, now  for sure she will never talk to, you show her how much you crazy, do you thing she still want to hang out with a pathetic like you?!" I was tired, I just feel sleep where am I, a sleep full of nightmares and hallucination, my family, my sister, that night....

few minutes later, a stupid drunk person start bothering me, If I had my gun I would shoot him, I just spit at him and stand up with a trouble headache which was eating my brain, and walk trying to recognize the way to the last drop, after minutes of walking to no where and hitting by people I find my way to it, when I entered there wasn't anyone except Sevika playing card with her friends and Thiuram pouring drink to someone, the moment that Sevika's eyes fell on me she shock and run toward me holding my shoulder:

Sevika: what the hell happened to you kid? did you had a fight?

Y/N: noo, it's fine, no need to worry Sevika.

Sevika: tell me who the hell did this to you and I swear am gonna...

I interrupted her and told her it was an accident, she didn't believe me but I was tired, I ignored her and went to my room, when I entered, Jinx was working on her disk while listening to some loud music it seem that she didn't notice me, so I tried to move without making noise and take some clean clothe so I can take a shower and she won't notice anything, I couldn't prepare my plane when I heard Jinx yelling at me and turned her chair immediately to face me: "Do you have any explanation about..." her eyes froze at me and her mouth was open slightly: "wait, what did happen to you?!", when I realize that my plan fail I just walk normal to get my cloth and have a shower, Jinx cut my way and shake my body trying to find answer from me, "Ohh Jinx, I swear to god, am tired and in no m..." I couldn't continue my sentence, when Jinx suddenly push to the sofa and site on my lap holding my jaw: " listen silly boy, don' test my patience, tell me WHAT THE HELL HAPPEND TO YOU" she said her last sentence with emphasis on it and giving me a scarry look. is this threaten or her way to show caring about me, I lied my head on the back of sofa and when my neck touch it I hissed from a slight pain, Jinx notice it put her hand on my neck and there was amount of dry blood covering it, " you must have an explanation for this" she said that while hurrying to her med Kitt bag and bring a wet towel to clean the blood, when I realize that I have nothing to do I just give in and lay my head toward so she can work on it.

after minutes of treatment and working, she did her best to stop bleeding and make sure that everything is well, she stand in front and crossing her hands together waiting for me to say something, I was lean forward while seating on the couch in silence feeling her hot looks at me trying find answer, I stand up without saying anything and push her beside so I can walk and she was shock I couldn't walk away until I feel hand holding me and turning me around, before I could say anything I felt a hand slap me hard and fast, I was shock and I looked at jinx wondering, she was pissed, her face was red with tear in her eyes: "why don't you tell me, don't you trust me, am I not enough or what, what is wrong with you these days?" tears were felling from her eyes and she was breathing rapidly, she just seat on the ground holding her legs and crying in silence while her body is shaking.