Tom Holland Imagines: Volume 2

Stranger: an original poem

A/N: Hi all! So I figured I'd write this out just as a little outlet for my current existential crisis as a fangirl. If you have any negative comments or criticisms please keep them to yourself. I'm being vulnerable here.

TW I guess...(depression? I don't know what's wrong with me...)

Stranger

They say fame changes you,
They say being yourself is a dangerous path to take for someone like you.

I suppose they must be right.
The world is a cruel and judgemental place.
But I miss you.

I miss seeing glimpses of your soul,
Silly videos you'd share where you'd talk about your day,
Showing us whatever adventures you and your friends had planned.

It's not my place to have a seat in your life.
I know.
But mine is falling apart.

Because lately nothing brings me real joy anymore,
I don't feel love or empathy for anyone I care about,
I'm frustrated at everyone for doing nothing wrong.

I feel trapped.
Trapped in my own home, my own life, my own reality.
And I wish I could leave,
Because everything seems wrong,
But then I feel guilty for even thinking such a thing.

Because I don't want to die.
I thought I'd won the war in my mind a long time ago,
And it's true, things are better than they were.
But are they?

Is there such a thing as passive suicide?

And you...
You're on another plane of reality.

Your life is a beauteous photograph that I have no place in anymore.
And I feel like I abandoned you.
Have I?

I can't keep up with you anymore,
I can't find the will to find your interviews,
Can't bear to watch your life go on when mine remains stagnant.

So I say I love you,
Because I did when I knew you (as well as I could).

But my strongest coping mechanism,
My gentleman,
Has become an unattainable god.

A stranger.

Just as obscure to me as I am to myself.