Sessions

Sessions 4

"Grayson, Promise me we'll always be together. You me and the baby. Forever."

"I Promise, I love you Annie."

Tears rolled down Grays eyes as he took another gulp of bitter rum. The cigarettes only soothed his emotions for awhile, the alcohol seemed to work better. His hands trembled every time he put the cigarette to his cracked lips. Sniffling away the tears and sadness he reached over to the picture frame next to his bed. The photo was already faded away but her smile still remained, happy and carefree. He choked on the uprising of tears again and walked over to his old stereo.

"I still love you Annie, remember when we danced to this song on our wedding?" Gray slurred as he began to play an old song by Mazzy Star.

"I want to hold the hand inside you.

I want to take a breath that's true

I look to you and I see nothing

I look to you to see the truth"

Gray sang until he was almost done with his entire bottle of rum. This was for Annie. For her and their child.

"A stranger's light comes on slowly

A stranger's heart without a home

You put your hands into your head

And then smiles cover your heart

Fade into you

Strange you never knew

Fade into you

I think it's strange you never knew..."

Vic awoke to a slow song being played in Grays room, and the loud sobs he was failing to hid. Her sudden instinct was already to be sad, the fact he was crying made her want to cry to but why was he crying? She made her way to his room and slowly opened the door. Gray was standing there slowly swaying side to side, like wheat in a gentle breeze.

"Gray, are you alright?" she whispered as he kept his eyes closed. She looked over at the frame held tightly to his chest and realized it was about his love. Instant sorrow washed over her, she didn't know why. She knew nothing about Grays past yet, his current emotion made her feel it was something traumatic. He continued swaying until Vic put a gentle hand upon his face. His eyes slowly opened and upon seeing her face made him burst into a river of tears. The alcohol made his brick wall of no emotion come crumbling down. Vic wrapped Grays big body into a warm embrace and swayed with him as he continued crying upon her shoulder. Vic couldn't help but cry as well as he was her only friend. Seeing him in distress made her worried. She led him to his bed and helped lay him down as he finished the last of his rum.

"Its okay now Gray, its okay." she whispered as she wiped the tears from his face. He gave a slight nod and closed his weary eyes to sleep. VIc brushed back the hair from his forehead and planted a gentle kiss as her father once did. Gray was now more of a father to her than her dad ever was.

"Thank you, Vic." he whispered as she quietly made her way out into the hallway. She smiled and closed the door behind her.

Vic spent the rest of the day attempting to make a good feast for Gray, since he was in a vulnerable state. The reason why he was acting like this still wondered in her head, what happened to him that he was so sad? Vic plopped herself down on the couch and looked around the small house. There by the old television was a stack of old DVD's, one of them titled "Annabells Birthday" made her curious. She looked over at Grays room and could still hear his snoring. This was her chance. She put the DVD into the player and waited for the images to appear. A woman appeared on the screen, she was sound asleep, laying in bed as the person behind the camera places a tray of food on her lap. Grays voice filled with joy began to sing her happy birthday. The woman smiled as she rolled over from her side, her pregnant belly bulging through the blankets.

"Hows my baby doin?" Grays voice asked as he placed his hand on her stomach. Annabelle laughed and rolled her eyes.

"Shes fine, Charlie, now wheres my birthday present?" She giggled out as she closed her eyes and held out her hands. Grays placed the camera on a stand and now both him and the woman were visible in the video. Vic watched in awe as Gray placed a small pot with two flowering buds in it. When she opened her eyes she was smiling wider than ever.

"Their beautiful Gray. I Love them, but why flowers?" she asked admiring the colors.

"Someone once said 'If you love a flower, don't pick it up. Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation.' See these two flowers represent you and me. This ones a Daffodil, your birth flower, and mine, a Daisy." He looked up to see a gentle tear roll down her cheek.

"I love it, I love you." She cried out as she planted a quick kiss upon his lips. Grayson laughed and kissed her belly. "One more week, and we'll finally have our family." he whispered. VIc noticed the date in the corner of the video. The date was today.

Vic stopped the video and wiped away the tears from her cheeks. She ran outside and grabbed her bike. Two hours later she came home with her bike basket filled with Daffodils and Daisies. It was hard finding flowers in this area but luckily she snuck some out of the gardens of The Boulevard. She quietly made her way into the house and into Grays room. Placing every flower pot around his room she then sat upon his bed and woke him up from his slumber.

He awoke but before he could say anything Vic spoke, "When I was younger I was a well rounded person. Before my father became who he is now. I was always lost in confusion. My only real happy times where when he was my father not a transvestite who locked me away. At night i would fall asleep after wishing and dreaming upon the night sky to be free. Then one night i saw those dreams dashed and divided like a millions stars in the night sky, that i had wished upon over and over again. Beautiful and broken. But then i realized it didn't matter because it took losing it to know what true freedom is. You made me realize who i am now. No matter what has happened to you in the past, even as rough as a storm upon the ocean, you make my life worth living now in the present. Many things have pushed me to the brink of madness that only you helped me cope with. You are my shining star that i wished for so many times every night. My road to freedom."

Gray was speechless and wrapped Vic in a warm embrace. He looked up and saw the flowers all over the room and felt his heart sink in his chest. Both of them had tears rolling down their cheeks and Gray chuckled as he knew Vic was also his way to freedom. His escape from his past and his road to moving on from his sorrow. She was the daughter he wished he had always had.

"Who are you?

Are you in touch with all of your darkest fantasies?

Have you created a life for yourself where you can experience them?

I have. I am fucking crazy.

But I am free." - Lana del Rey.