Love, Death

21. dew

you are inside me

your sweat rippling like dew against your skin

when you tell me

about the disappearances.

and in that moment

it feels like you are able

to see inside

my soul.

i grow fearful

my breaths are heavy like rocks

yet, not in the way they tend to be

when we are having fun

you notice

and you apologize

you are sorry

for scaring me

you should not tell

such horrid stories

when we are making love

whoever they are

they will pay,

you say

it is only a matter of time,

you say

but i am sorry, dearest husband

for it is me

i am the one

a murderer of comrades

for i control

the eyes of gold now

and if i do not

let them out

it means

that i let them

win

so i must

do these unjust things

it is for your safety

and

besides

it is not like

they will find

out

i am as old

as time itself

you will die

long before i do

as will our daughters

as will our fields and our cattle and our homes

i am only stopping by, here

a traveler amongst ruins-to-be

resting—yes

it is all i can do

before the end arrives

and i must take you, too

but before that, i writhe in pain

your little one wishes to see the world

like i had once yearned

to see the stars

help me tug her out

help me give birth