26. night out

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it is night out on a hillside

bells are ringing nearby as a couple is wed

i can sense it is time for one of them to go

but i don't want to do it


not yet


i used to think it was gentle

a kindness

to take a life

instead of letting one suffer


but, who am i to choose?


i do not know any better

i am only very old

very tired

no matter how ancient my bones grow

my face will not age

my veins do not bleed

maybe, i should have joined that shadow

back then

i wonder, as i reach out to a sky full of stars

what was behind those gates?


would I have been happier?

would i still be stuck here, giving birth to chaos and myself

over

over

over again?

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