~Hidden emotions~ Dee x fem reader

Chapter 11

~chapter 11: it's all too much~

~Y/N's pov~

Well that was a horrible day. Why did this have to happen?

Not me crying in front of Dee. That's so embarrassing. The poor guy is probably so confused... unless he's not... maybe he knows. Shit, what if he tells someone. Father would kill me.

Why did I wince? I could have just put up with it. I know it hurt, but you know what will hurt more? Fathers punishment if someone finds out.

Okay, you've got this Y/N. Just don't let it happen again, and maybe he'll forget this even happened.

God my emotions are over spilling again. I guess this is what I get for keeping them away for so long. I get excessive outbursts until it fizzles out, and then it happens over again.

My mind is so busy right now. I just want to sleep, but I can't because father is making me play my stupid violin.

I've hit all the correct notes so far, but my mind is so cloudy, I can't think about what I'm doing properly. I'm just going with it, and hoping for the best.

I wonder where B/N is. Probably still in school now that I think about it. I went home early because I said that I wasn't feeling well and they sent me home.

Father noticed my bandaged knuckles and yelled at me for getting into bother, but he got over it and forced me to practice this song that I'm learning.

My bow is gliding over the strings of the complex instrument in such a sophisticated flow until a pain from my bruised and cut up wrists shot up through my arm, as if an electric shock.

I drop the bow and grasp onto my arm in order to soothe the pain. I hear the footsteps getting louder and don't even need to look up to know who and what was about to happen.

"Absolutely disgraceful" *WHACK*

~Later~

I can officially say that this was one of the worst days I've had in a while. Father hurting me isn't exactly a rare occurrence, but that, along with my emotional instability, crying in front of Dee and getting into another fight with Sarah all seems to have made my day one of my worst lately.

Father beat the shit out of my wrists and now I can't move my fingers. I don't know what to do with myself so I'm just sitting with my back against the wall and crying.

I hate it when I cry. Father used to say I looked ugly when I cried, so I refrained from doing it in front of him. That was until mother died, from then on I didn't cry at all. Not for months until it all overflowed. I guess that is now, because I can't keep it in.

Everything is too much. Father, mother, Sarah, Dee, just emotions in general. I don't know what to do. I am breathing really heavily now. Am I hyperventilating? Shit.

I'm having a panic attack again. The last time I had one of these was when mother died. I forgot how horrible this felt.

I hear the doorknob fumble and watch it turn. My heart stops for a brief moment until I hear B/N's voice fill my ears.

"Hey Y/N? I was wondering if you could play me a song on your guitar because-" he sees my state and stops.

"Omg Y/N!" He runs over to me, drops to my level and engulfs me in his arms. We stay like this for a few minutes in silence. The only thing we could hear was my quick and heavy breathing, until he gets up and speedwalks to his room.

Within seconds he re-enters my room with something in his hand, but my eyes are so blurry from my tears, that I can't make out what it is.

He sits on the floor next to me and wraps his arm around my shoulder, pulling me to lean on him.

He fumbles with the object in his hand for a minute until he places it in his lap. His arm that was wrapped around me moves towards my face as he tucks my hair behind my ear, before putting a bud in there. An earbud?

Before I can finish questioning him in my mind, music fills my senses and I almost immediately recognise the chain of songs after a couple of them.

I've calmed down for the most part by now and only have a few remains of tears left on my face. Now that my vision is more clear, I look down to the object my brother was so eager to retrieve minutes ago.

My first ever MP3 player, soundly playing a list with the title 'dumb and dumber'.

Heh. He sure knows how to cheer me up. It's almost as if he's gained mother's ability to. I'm kinda tired. I'm sure a small nap won't be a problem.

__________________________________________________________________________________
Thank you so much to anyone who has voted for any of my chapters. It means a lot that people are enjoying it and really motivates me to write and upload chapters quicker then I usually would. Thank you for reading this chapter and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day <3