FUCKER

June 23, 2018 - Part 9

"Would you really leave Allison?" Gerard found himself wondering out loud  even though his mouth should've been more focused on Bert's hip bone that he was kissing over. Not to do anything sexual, just to explore and revisit areas he hadn't been in years. Gerard was alarmed at himself for saying those words but he thought it best to pretend he had planned on saying it all along.

They had somehow, after Gerard's orgasm, found themselves just kissing and trailing fingers on each other's skin. Whispering nasty little things to each other that made them giggle when they weren't practically purring. Making completely useless confessions to each other. Idiot talk that somehow felt worth more than any conversation had with anyone else in the longest time.

Now Gerard was making his way down Bert's body, to have a close up look at some details. He needed to... just in case the chance didn't come again. He was hoping that by Bert's silence, he had perhaps not heard the question. But also, what if he had heard it and now doesn't want to answer?

"Don't do that." So he did hear.

Gerard still played it cool, resting his head on Bert's inner thigh, his nose and mouth just right there by his junk and even though mentally he was a bit unnerved. Physically he couldn't be more comfortable. "You mean, Don't ask you to?"

Bert shook his head, looking down at the scene. Gerard's long brown locks with the occasional gray draped over Bert's thigh and hip. Flashes of a clean shaved face and jet black hair, perhaps even some make up that would smudge off on Bert's skin from time to time. "Don't say things that make me think you want me to... and then take it back tomorrow." This right here was better than Bert could have ever imagined today would be. 

Defense mode slightly activated but only enough to make Gerard wanna bite a bit, "You know you do the same thing right? That's why I gotta ask." even finding the nerve to roll his eyes a little.

Ohh... Bert narrows his gaze, "Not to you, I don't." Gently flicking the tip of Gerard nose which makes the older man wince and curse at him.

"Not that you remember."  

That bugged Bert. He knows that the life he lead before goes hand in hand with time and memory loss. He knows this... but he doesn't like it. He doesn't relate to that guy anymore. That's why he gets referred to in the 3rd person so often. Bert doesn't like the idea that there are things he can't remember. Cause if there is one thing between himself and Gerard that he's lost, it means there are more things. And he doesn't want there to be any lost things. Good or bad.

It makes the situation turn more serious now. He doesn't know how to properly answer the initial question, but what he does know is that he has to speak his truth. He can't risk being anything but 100% honest with Gerard. "I... don't know how..." Bert chokes up a bit. "With the girls." His daughters always make him emotional. "I love Ali." and he really does. So fucking much, he has to really fight the emotion now. But he will fight it because Gerard does not need to see the extent to which Bert feels for his wife. But more importantly, he needs to know, "But I can't... not be with you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Gerard is a little bitter at the mention of her and his love for her right now but not enough to move from Bert's tender thigh.

Bert took a moment to swallow the lump in his throat and make peace with the words he knew he would eventually say, "It means, Pretty, that whatever you tell me I gotta do..." taking one more deep breath "... I'll do it."

This was a tough conversation to be having. Gerard had not expected that answer from Bert at all but the fact that they could just lay there and actually address the mutiple elephants in the room, was somehow more refreshing than frightening. Perhaps they really have grown up a bit. "Why are you willing to make sacrifices when you've always maintained that I'm the reason this never became... what you wanted it to be?" Gerard internally congratulated himself for the question. Not an easy one but he maintained the level of comfort between them by drawing circles through Bert's pubic hair with the tip of his finger.