On Every Road

Color

I lie awake in bed thinking if going here was a good idea. Ultimately, at the rate of what I'm feeling right now, I wish I was back in my apartment. I look up at the light blue ceiling of this spacious room Mrs. Lerman provided for me and turned to my left side. I look out the window and the leaves dance in a rustled motion, rubbing against each other in their eternal dance with the wind. And then I think of Logan and Jenny possibly rubbing against each other right now. I sigh and disregard the thought and close my eyes, hopefully going to a dream land better than my reality.

"I don't think she's going to enjoy this very much." I hear someone whisper and I'm feeling if I'm awake or I'm just in my dream. I try to focus on my sense a bit more. I move my toes ever so slightly and listen to the sound of people whispering.

Yeah, I'm awake.

I open my eyes slowly and I see Logan standing beside my bed with a pillow ripped on one side and he looks at me with a cheeky grin. "Good morning, beautiful Diandra." He smiles and slams the pillow on the chest area causing feathers to burst all over the place.

"WHAT!" I scream and immediately get up, chasing him around the room. "WHAT THE FUCK, LOGAN LERMAN!" I leap on him and grab him by the shins.

"NO! PLEASE!" He wiggles out of my grasp and bumps his head on the hardwood floor. I immediately let go and Jenny comes running to his aid, holding his head.

"Logan, are you alright?" She looks at him and places her free hand on his chest.

He giggles. "Yeah, I am. Diandra and I are just fooling around." He gets up and helps me get up too. "I'm very, truly sorry." He looks at me and a smile is playing on his lips.

"Liar." I mouth and he winks. "Revenge. Later." I quietly say as we make our way downstairs for lunch.

I make a quick stop at the lavatory and brush my teeth. I look at myself in the mirror and smile. See, things are better today. I thought to myself while walking to the dining room where everyone sat. I took a seat in between Logan and Jenny and place waffles on my plate.

After breakfast, I decided to take a shower. My phone buzzes after I got dressed into denim shorts and a t-shirt with my favorite band's logo on it.

Logan: Hey, wanna take the doggies out on a walk with me?

Me: Sure.

Logan: Meet me downstairs. I'll be happily waiting for you. :)

I smile at the text and slip on my black converses. I get down the stairs and Logan is sitting down promptly on a love seat wearing khaki shorts and a dark blue shirt. I follow him to the backyard as two Border Collies and one Golden Retriever make their way towards him, running around him and covering his shorts with a bit of dirt.

"Diandra, these are my babies." He chuckles. "This is Shia, Shasta, and Joe." He rubs the heads of the dogs one by one and I kneel down on the grass and they give me a warm, slobbery welcome. We head out from the back gate and walk up the street. The sun was warm, but the air was dry and not disgustingly humid. So I was happy about that.

"How was your sleep?" Logan asks me while kicking a pebble.

"It was alright. Yours?"

"It hurt my back." He cringed and looked at me.

"Well, yeah, you and Jenny shared that small couch last night." I chuckled but at the same time I was hurt.

"Nah, I got up and went to my room. We're not like that. We're nothing, really. Just childhood friends." He scratches the back of his head.

I feel myself blush for thinking ill thoughts about them.

"I'm waiting on the right girl who will give color to my life, y'know?" He looks up at the sky and looks down at me.

I smile. "Well, I hope she comes soon." Deep down, I wish it was me.

We stop by at a dog park where other happy dog owners are walking their pets as well. I feel like a kid. I love dogs so much. I practically pet every dog that passed by us.

We sit down and make small talk when I hear a familiar voice. I turn around and see her and I feel a sharp pain in my chest and my eyes well up with anger and sadness and betrayal all at once.

"No." I whisper as a tear slid down my face.

"What is it, Diandra?" Logan took my hand.

"Mom." I say and he follows my stare.

She was wearing jogging clothes and she looked like she hasn't aged. Beside her is the man she eloped with like their fucking 18 years old. I get up and walk, my legs have their own mind now. I don't stop until I was behind her.

"Mom." I say even louder and she turns around.

"Diandra?" Her eyes are wide and she smiles. "Sweetie."

"Don't call me that, mom. I can't believe you. I can't fucking believe you." I say, stepping back and tears rolling down my face. "You were my fucking hero and you became the villain in my life, mom. You left dad."

"Now's not the time to talk about it, hun." She tries to hold my hand and I pull away.

"When's the right time, huh? When dad's dead and we're gathered around his grave? Huh?" I raise an eyebrow at her.

"Diandra, let's go." Logan quietly says to me.

"Here's my number, sweetie. Call me if you need to talk about this. Now isn't the right time." She hands Logan the calling card and he places it in his back pocket.

"Fuck you, George." I flash him the middle finger and turn around. "I can't fucking believe her!" I say as we head back to the house. "This is the first time we ever made contact in so many years and she tells me it's not the right time! How is this even real!?" Logan pinches me.

"Cheer up, Diandra. You'll get answers soon." He hugs me and I take in his scent. I will never get tired of this. "Good things come to those who wait."

I take a deep breath and nod. Who knew I would ever even find her. Fate does a good job with connecting people. I immediately feel bad for all the things I said, but then again, how will I react to seeing my mother who left us? It hurt. I was hurt and I still am.

"Diandra?" Logan waves his face in my hands.

"Yeah?" I break my trance. "Sorry. I was just thinking." I look at him and smile.

"It's alright. I told you, don't worry about it. Things will be fine and you'll get answers from your mom when you think about calling her." He takes out the calling card from his back pocket and hand it to me.

"I really hope so." I look at it. Melanie Potts, interior designer. It read on the calling card. "Way to use George's last name, mom. Real classy. I can't wait till dad sues your ass." I scoff and place it in my shorts pocket.

"You're scary when you're angry." Logan says and I laugh.

"Stop." I get up and we head outside to the backyard. We lie down on the hammock beside each other and stare at the sky. It was noon and the weather was calm and nice.

"Can I be completely honest with you, Diandra Johnson?" He looks at me and I stare into his blue eyes. We were inches apart from each other.

"Yes, Logan Lerman?" I mimic him and he lets out a small laugh.

"You're the best person who has ever walked into my life." I can see the sincerity in his eyes and the serenity.

My heart probably fell to my ass and went back up my throat because I felt like taking a dump and vomiting at the same time. Our faces slowly come closer and closer until I can feel his breath on my lips.

"Hellooooo!" Jenny exclaims as we walks to the backyard and Logan and I look back up at the sky. I roll my eyes and curse Jenny under my breath.

Fate, at times, doesn't do a good job with connecting people.