Chasing Demons (Book 2) Rated R

Chapter 15

I sat in the armchair by the window again.

Downtown Bucharest was teeming with activity as it neared midnight. People buzzed around a strip of bars and restaurants below, looking like worker bees in a hive from this high up.

I'd gotten Christian back into bed and he'd been sleeping for hours now. Even though I desperately wanted to wake him, ask him a million questions, I couldn't bring myself to be so selfish.

My mind traveled a thousand miles an hour, faster than the Lamborghini Julian had stolen to get us here ever could.

I'd spent the past few weeks hating Christian for a crime...he really...may not have committed?

I'd even told him I hated him for it...

"I should've," Chris said, surprising me. My head jerked toward him. His eyes were still closed, his hands resting on his stomach. "I should've told you sooner. My fault."

"If what you're saying is true..." I said, swallowing down the lump in my throat. "Why didn't you just say it that night at Dannek castle? Why did you let me believe it was you?"

Chris made a small sound that sounded like a laugh. "After all I did to get you there? After all I put you through? I'm toxic as hell for you, Aimee."

"Don't give me that self-loathing crap. You...you could've just said that and it would have saved us both a lot of pain. Instead, you let me think...do you know how fucking hard that was for me?"

"I know," He said, in a low voice. "But I knew with time you'd heal from that pain. I thought, in the long run being away from me would be better. But then..."

"But then what?"

"The leads I followed on the murders...everything I found pointed to Defenders. I panicked," He sighed. "That's why I bonded you to me. I thought you were in danger. Truly, I wouldn't have if...but everything I do, it just hurts you."

I shook my head, tears that I wouldn't let fall pricking at my eyes.

"You should have told me the truth."

"I..." He grimaced. "I was trying to protect you."

"You don't get to decide which truths I'm too fragile for, Christian. You keep all these secrets thinking you're protecting me but...ugh. Sometimes I just wish I could hear what you were thinking. It would save us a whole lot of trouble."

"You don't want to know what I'm thinking," He said, in a low, tired voice. "Trust me."

"Yes. I do. I wish for once you'd stop being so much in your head and let me in."

"You really want to know? Alright. I'll tell you. I was selfish to bond you to me. It was selfish of me to tell you I loved you after...after everything I did. The fact that I didn't kill Luke doesn't change anything."

"It does for me,"

"But it shouldn't," He growled. "Maybe your love for me is some type of Stockholm syndrome. Hell if I know. But this is not ok. None of it is."

"Why do you just love to self-sabotage?"

"After everything, I've done, Aimee, the natural response should be hate."

"But what if that's not what I want?"

"Look at you," He said, finally opening his eyes, his icy blue gaze going to the place on my sleeves where I'd wiped the blood away from my nose, the last three times he'd started seizing and I threw all my energy into healing him.

He looked angry but more at himself than me.

"Loving me is going to get you killed. Do you think it's normal for you to bleed when you heal? Because it's not."