Chasing Demons (Book 2) Rated R

Chapter 26

~Christian~

I found myself in the stables. Ever since I was a child, I'd been drawn here, to the quiet, gentle nature of the horses.

My entire life I'd lived in a constant state of panic.

I never knew when my father would be in one of his moods. When I'd need to gather my siblings and remove them from his war path or when I'd need to step in between Anca and father's fists.

But here, in the stables, it was always quiet. It was the one place Henric had never cared to torment.

The one place I could truly think.

I found myself feeling very young at that moment. You'd think at over 200 years old, wisdom would be bleached into my bones. But that was not how Readers aged. Not when each decade was essentially spent in the same mindset. Still, I found myself feeling very young and not like the twenty-one-year-old I was supposed to be.

As I combed Midnight's mane, I thought of what it would mean to have a child with Aimee.

I could see her clearly, her soft curves made rounder by my child.

My child.

Though I'd spent the better part of my adult years caring for my siblings as my own, I'd never once imagined I'd ever be someone's father. That something tiny and defenseless would ever depend on me.

It was impossible to calm the pounding of my heart. How I wished I could share with Aimee how much joy the thought of having a child with her brought me. How badly I wanted that future with her--one where we could lead normal lives, and raise a family.

Maybe in another world, another life, we could have done just that. But not in this one.

The joy I'd felt at the thought quickly became replaced with fear.

If I still had his army, I would have felt better but now all I had to offer her was a fractured kingdom and an impending fight. Because somewhere out there, someone would seek retribution for thousands of dead humans, I was certain of it.

Aimee, and the baby, could not be here when that happened.

Through all this, I had not forgotten my mission to get her to hate me.

A part of me knew what I was doing was damaging and I hated myself for it.

Aimee, my Aimee, what am I doing to you? And will you ever forgive me?

But the other part, the part that had felt what it had been like to be in a world without her, even for just a few moments, couldn't bring myself to put my own selfish needs over hers. Especially not now that there was a possible child in the equation.

Abandoning the brush, I sat down on a bale of hay and placed my face in his hands, taking a deep breath.

An image of Aimee flashed through my mind. Her body, now slightly round with my son or daughter, hanging limply in my arms, dead.

I did not think I was strong enough to suffer the loss of her twice. Much less lose my own child. But that is the only future I could see for either of them.

Julian entered the stables just then, his wild thoughts drawing me out of my own.

"Uncle," I said, as I stood. "Do you have any news?"

"None," He said. Julian's mind quieted as he put his thoughts into words. "I have checked with every informant I have inside the Embassies. There has been no mention of an attack on Reader Nation. No mention of thousands of dead humans."