Falling Apart, Together✓

Chapter Fifteen

"Bentley, is that you?" I hear my mom call out as I stood with my back leaning against the door, trying to get my tears under control.

"Yeah mom." I say as I walked to the kitchen, wiping the tears from my face.

"I wasn't expecting you today. Are you ok honey?" She asks, taking in the tear stains I hadn't managed to wipe away and my bloodshot eyes. I just shake my head as I fall apart again.

"All I want to know is why. Wasn't it bad enough I just lost Dad? Now there's this too!" I say as we sit in the couch, each of us holding a cup of tea, the kettle in between us on the coffee table. My mom just looked at me, sadness filling her eyes. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be dumping my problems on you. You have enough to deal with, without my problems being added to it."

"Don't apologize. I'm still your mom. It's my job to be there when you need me." I give her a small smile.

"I feel like I'm living someone else's life. This journey with Ransom and a baby was supposed to be mine. And it would just be my shitty luck that I get knocked up by his rapey dad and choose to abort my baby while fucking Laurel hooks up with Ransom, steps out on her marriage, ruins our first attempt to reconnect and then gets pregnant and decides to announce it at my engagement party. Why is it always her?" I moved past tears and I was just angry now.

Mom watched as I paced the length of the living room. "I mean seriously. Isn't it enough that I have to live with the knowledge that he slept with her. Am I really prepared for a lifetime with her hanging around like a bad smell?"

"I guess the question you have to ask yourself is if Ransom is worth it." Mom says.

"I love Ransom Mom. More than I've ever loved anything."

"Then you have your answer." I sigh and take a seat in a chair by the window, looking out at the backyard. Then why did it feel like my heart was breaking?

...

It was the next week and I was at Ransom's, where I had pretty much been living since my dad's funeral. Home was just too painful right now. Mom insisted she wasn't going to sell, that this was where all her happy memories of Dad are and I can't blame her, but it doesn't provide me the same comfort.

I was sitting on the couch in the living room, sifting through the various venue options my mom and Linda sent me and Ransom to look at. Most wanted some astronomical down payment in order to host a wedding that was in less than four months but our moms swore that it wasn't going to be a problem.

I checked my phone for probably the hundredth time that afternoon. Ransom had gone to an ultrasound appointment with... her and I hadn't heard from him in a couple of hours. I sighed and moved onto the guest list. Neither of us had too many people we actually wanted there. However, our families had plenty of people that "needed" to be in attendance so it was quickly becoming a shit show.

I heard the Beemer pull into the driveway and Ransom putting the keys in the door. "Honey, I'm home!" he yells from the foyer. 

I laugh. "In here!" I call back. He comes into the living room, looking extremely happy. "What's got you in a good mood?" I ask.

"It's a girl Bentley!" he says excitedly. I try my best not to cry. "I can't believe it! I'm on cloud fucking nine right now," he says, pulling me into his side, leaning in for a kiss. I move my head so he can only kiss my cheek. "What's wrong?" he asks as I stand up and walk over to the bookshelf, hiding the tears that are forming in the corners of my eyes. 

"Nothing. I'm great. Everything's great." I'm not sure if he bought it but he didn't ask anymore questions as he pulled the ultrasound out of his coat pocket. "Oh wow," I say.

"Yeah. I'm gonna go over and show mom. I'll be back in like an hour," he says before jumping up and leaving. The front door shut behind him and I was completely alone... again. As soon as I heard his car pull out of the driveway I threw the wedding plans off of the coffee table, watching as they fell to the floor, scattered, before falling to the ground as tears racked through my body.