You Make It Easy

Chapter Twenty One (Daniel's POV)

Winter break passed by too quickly for me. I was already in my third class and was debating skipping, but knew if I got detention again mom would have my head. So I bared through the long lecture on the topic of how JFK was shot and it shook the nation. I rather re-take algebra, or do another 5 mile lap around the track before I listen to another speech about how America is the greatest country in the world. Not to mention, February was already flying by. I had my first appointment with a hormone specialist, his name was Anthony. He gave me a run down of forms for my legal guardidan to fill out, mostly about how HRT worked, the side effects, timeline of changes etc. When I went over it with mom she was hestitating again but evantually signed off. I was glad both my parents didn't have to sign or else I'd be waiting longer. My doctor gave me an estimated time frame of between mid March to early April to get my first shot depending on how long it took me to get the forms back. I was getting a nerves because I wasn't the biggest fans of needles, but Anthony informed me there was different methods of T. We discussed them and decided that T gel would be best option for me since it had a slow release, like mom had requested.
Plus, Valentine's Day was just around the corner, and I wasn't sure if it was appropriate to give Ariel a gift. Nothing major, just one of those silly dollar roses the cheer team was giving out. But how many other guys---or girls were going to do the same thing too? GSA was making cards for people who requested it. I had volunteered to help make them. I sat in the back as I glued on cut out hearts onto pastel pink sheets. I could hear some of the conversation as Elena was doing her nails and not doing anything else. Ariel was writing out personal notes to people who left some for their admirers. She had such a pretty hand signature. Finishing up the tenth card I watched as the cheer squad came in squealing and giggling over to the two girls.

    "Ariel girl, you're not going to believe this" a red head said

    "What is it?" she pondered not looking up from the task. 

    "Remembr that hot senior, Ray? I heard from Simone that she heard from Raven, that he likes you! Girl, you're gonna be a power couple!" the girl geeked over the gossip. I grunted as I kept on pasting papers. Whoever this Ray guy was I already had a bad gut feeling or was that just jealously brewing? I could hear Ariel hesitating as she was trying to come up with a reason to why that wouldn't work.

    "Why not? Listen girl I like girls but even I could see he's a hottie" Elena pushed further, waving her filer in the air.

    "Well...Well actually I-" she stuttered more.

    "But what girl?" the girl questioned.

    "Nothing-Nothing. I'll uh consider it, I guess" she sounded defeated

I stood up quickly knocking over the chair. The girls yelped looking at me, I mumbled an apology before picking up the items. Snatching my bag and storming out. So much for my hopes, I knew it would be too high of  chance. What would Ari want with a guy like me? She could have anyone she wanted in this school, what made me think she'd choose me? Maybe Mandy  and Mickey was wrong, not like I was a cis-guy. I had seen Ray around school, mainly in the weightroom lifting with his buddies or checking out some sophmores. It was disheartening to know that Ari was probably going to end up with him. I knew at some point she'd probably like someone, just that someone isn't me. Heading to my locker I threw my jacket on and beanie as I rushed down the steps, just wanting to be alone.
    I found myself at the coffee shop Ari took me to a few months ago. We came back here a few times to do homework, hang out or people watch. Stirring my ice matcha I sighed and brought out my black notebook, jotting down my thoughts until my fingers ached;
    "I hate Ray whatever his last name is. He's taking junior math and science, and is dumb as rocks. Yet Ari has a thing for him..it seems. At least she'd said she considered giving him a chance. Was she not into because I wasn't a cis-guy? Or because I was short? Was it because she just didn't like me at all? What a delusion fantasy I had of us ever being more than friends. I can't remember the last time I was this angry over a damn crush. It's fucking idiotic, it just a stupid crush. A stupid crush on my best friend. This hurts, it fucking hurts so much"
    Stopping before my tears began to surf down my face I wiped them away with the back of my arm. Gathering myself together I ordered another matcha before heading back home. I found myself playing over a playlist I had made Ariel leading up to Valentine's Day titled, If You Call My Name but I don't think she's going to get ithe message behind it. Did she even get my poem from before? I guess that didn't matter much, considering fucking Ray. Turning onto my side I groaned in my pillow, thinking over how we first met and how compared to know---I wish I had spoken up sooner. She was some of the best parts of this whole school year. Sighing, I thought back to what my coach back in military school. 'If you want something, you got to make it known. Don't hold back or you'll miss all the chances you got' looking at the current song playing I sat up and began to form a plan on how I was going to tell her how I felt---for real this time.
    I had decided to change up my look just for this day, considering it was her number one holiday. Rather than my usual black zip-up, white tees, and black joggers---I wore a white button up with a dark red tie, and some nice black jeans. I actually brushed my hair and put in some curl cream my mom kept recommending. Checking myself out in the mirror again for the third time I tried to adjust my tie and loosen in but it still felt too tie. Giving up, I left the restroom and went to my locker, searching for Ariel's gift. I had gotten her this small brown teddy bear with a heart shaped nose. I had a poem in my back pocket. Smiling confidently I turned to close my locker only to see Ariel accepting another rose from the cheer team, they crowded her as she blushed putting it in her locker. This was the fifth one she got today, and it wasn't even third period yet. Trying to take a steady breath I began to walk up only to get cut off by a taller guy holding a average sized white teddy bear. He walked up to Ariel with a big grin as he handed it off to her. This must've been Ray. He was light skinned, had light brown dyed hair that was loc up in the back, faded on the sides. Stood about tall as an apple tree, and was wearing blazing orange and black jacket. The dude had crocs on for christ sake! Face palming, I went to turn around until I heard the conversation.