It's safer in the dark - Sequel

Part 6

Louis POV

I wake up and I'm hot, too hot. As I come to my senses, I realise I'm not alone in the bed. That I'm in someone's arms, against someone's chest. Harry's smell is everywhere, and his arms are so warm and safe, I know it's him before I even open my eyes. Last night comes rushing back to me. I fell asleep with Lacey when I was meant to drive home. Dam it, I then remember my dream. Harry was in a car crash, and he died right in front of my eyes. Why the hell did I dream that and why did it affect me so much? Harry calming me down comes back to me as well as the stupid panic attack I had. I can't deny having Harry here and being in his arms last night was what I needed. I felt so safe and when he called me baby, the pet name he always called me when we were together, I instantly relaxed. I missed being in his arms, his tight hold on me so comforting. God, I miss him, but I can't have him, and I can't face him again in the light of day it's all too much.

I remember the boys last night suffocating me, it's like they are trying to force Harry on me, and I hate it. Don't they understand Harry made his choice when he left, it's like they are trying to blame the whole thing on me, like it's my fault he left, and I should be quick to welcome him back with open arms. Don't they remember how hurt I was? They seem to think Harry was my saviour and they think I'm going off the track again and I need Harry to bring me back. They can all go fuck themselves, it makes me so angry. I'm in control of my own life not them. I can't take being here anymore.

Before I can change my mind I'm slowly getting up off the bed, trying not to wake Harry, he stirs but rolls over. I look towards his gorgeous sleeping form. I ache to be in his arms, but I'll deny myself that pleasure for eternity if it means Harry is happier and has a much better life like he wanted, without me. I sigh. I grab my bag from the corner. The clock says 4am. I sneak out of the room and out of the house and into my car and I start the long drive back to London alone. So many emotions and feelings swirling around my head, I don't even know where to begin to sort them out.

The next two days are spent ignoring calls from the boys and it works until Cameron turns up on my doorstep on Tuesday morning.

"Hi" he says.

"Hey" I reply looking down at the floor.

"Can I come in?" He asks.

I sigh.

"Not if you are going to treat me like a child and like I can't look after myself" I say back.

"Lou, I'm sorry ok. I was just worried, but you are right I should trust you and I'm sorry" he says.

"I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have yelled at you and gotten so angry" I say.

Cameron smiles at me and we share a hug in the doorway. We walk back into the apartment and to the Lounge room where I was camped out watching TV under a blanket, drinking some tea.

"So, how was the party on the weekend?" Cam asks

I sigh and explain everything, I delve into the story of Harry and the boys and how I left without a goodbye.

"I've been avoiding the boy's calls" I tell him.

"I know, they call me too you know" Cam laughs "I told them you were fine though just working heaps" he finishes.

"Thanks Cam" I say smiling.

"You should call them though Lou" he says.

"I know I will.... just later okay" I respond.

Cameron nods at me.

"I don't mean to kick you out, but I've got to go get ready. I have a photo shoot today for H&K, to start the campaign" I tell him.