It's safer in the dark - Sequel

Part 8

Louis POV

I wake up at 9pm the next night and I still feel like shit, like I could sleep for hours more. I know I'm in Harry's bed, his smell is everywhere. I don't remember much that happened after we left the club. I lie awake for a while before I decide I better get the confrontation with Harry over and done with. I walk out and find him still in his pyjamas with no shirt on, watching TV on the couch. He notices me as soon as I walk into the room.

"Lou" he says, and his tone is worried.

"Hi" I say, my voice is raspy.

I stop in the doorway and look down ashamed.

"How are you feeling?" He asks and he pats the spot next to him on the couch.

I hesitate but walk over and sit down beside him.

"I'm sorry about last night" I say looking anywhere but at Harry.

"I'm just glad you are okay; you had a reaction to the drug you took. It could have been a lot worse Louis" Harry tells me, his tone a little clipped.

"Don't start Harry, I said I was sorry" I say back a little frustrated.

"What were you thinking Louis?" He asks dumbfounded.

"What was I thinking? Jesus Harry I just wanted to have some fun, with a nice guy. The first guy who I've actually had a slight interest in since you!" I yell.

"Louis I didn't......I'm sorry okay, I was worried, last night you were really sick" Harry says calmly.

I lower my voice. I know Harry didn't have to look after me, but he did, and I should be thankful.

"I know and now I know not to do that again" I say.

Knowing perfectly well that may not be true, I will just have to find a different drug.

Harry nods and we sit in silence for a few minutes.

"So, I guess now is a good a time as any to talk?" I say breaking the silence. I need to get this over with. No use prolonging the inevitable.

"Yeah, ok" Harry says back. I can tell he is slightly nervous.

"Look Louis, I just want you to know that I missed you. There wasn't a day that went by over the last four years where I didn't think of you. I was an idiot, such an idiot to let you go but I honestly thought it was the right thing. You thrived without me; you can't deny that Louis. You have done amazing things over the last four years. I know I should have gone about the whole thing differently I realise that now, but I want to be with you. There is and never will be anyone but you Lou, please give me another chance. Please " Harry says. He is looking at me with such desperation.

"You....you want to be with me?" I ask incredulously.

"Yes Louis, more than anything, I want you back so bad baby" Harry says.

"Harry, when you left you absolutely crushed me. You were the love of my life, and it was so hard. I had so many demons to battle and I thought I could do it all, just as long as I had you by my side. Then you left and I felt so lost and alone and not good enough for you. I spent four years battling everything alone. And yes, the boys were there for me but not like you were and that hurt. It was so hard Harry, so fucking hard but I did it and I achieved so many things that I wanted to, and I was so proud of myself and I'm finally somewhere that makes me happy. I'm in a happy place with my career. I waited four years for you Harry and as much as I deny it, every time the phone rang, I hoped it was you, but it never was. I knew I was never good enough, but I still held on hoping that one day maybe I would be. Now that you are here, I would give anything to jump back in your arms. To trust you and love you and have you love me........but I can't. I can't trust you not to hurt me, Harry. I just can't go through that again I'm too scared" I stumble out.